Strom’s list cited legitimate things that bug the shit out of reporters. Things like “stating this is the ‘first ever thing’ when it most certainly isn’t” and “not answering a direct question for more information with specifics” are just a few of the frustratons cited by Strom.  What Strom didn’t do was pick up the entire PR community by its ankles and throw it under the bus. He identified specific examples of things that make reporters go bananas.

Pitchman, on the other hand, wrote a disrespectful piece that stereotyped all journalists. His aggressive, accusatory tone made my skin crawl. There is nothing constructive in his list:

1. You lack common courtesy

2. Your laziness knows no bounds

3. You work at a crappy trade rag (blog)

4. You don’t play by the rules

5. You’re a stenographer

6. You’re creepy

7. You’re just projecting self-loathing

8. You look a gift horse in the mouth

9. You’re a humorless bully

10. You don’t know your station

The paragraph of content that followed each itemized accusation was beyond insulting and quite frankly juvenile. He did more harm to the PR community than he will ever know. And at the end of the day, he just gave the media another reason to pig pile on us all.

Let’s be honest, stereotyping is flat out wrong. There is no good in any stereotypes. Interestingly, I can’t imagine a single person who has walked the planet who has not been on the receiving end of some unfair stereotype. A few examples include:

• Irish are drunks
• Americans are fat
• Politicians are crooks
• Gays are pedophiles
• Jews are cheap
• Muslims are terrorists
• Southerners are rednecks
• Mexicans are illegal
• French are snobs
• Men are jerks
• Women are emotional

Just based on that short list, I am an emotional, fat, drunk pedophile.

We all need to stop stereotyping. When we catch ourselves doing it, we need to acknowledge it and try harder the next time. We need to respectfully call people out on stereotyping when someone around us does it. We need to start spreading the good karma that treats people as individuals and stop lumping groups into negative piles. Think of all the good karma that we could spread by just making this one small adjustment.

What do you think of Strom and/or Pitchman’s content and approach?

Facebook is an incredibly important part of my life. It allows me to stay connected with people who I care about. When I hear people who are not on Facebook say, “I am too busy for Facebook,” it just makes me laugh. It’s like saying I’m too busy to have a phone. Facebook does not take away from my life, it enhances it — just like a phone. I want to hear about important things that go on in my friends’ world, so I can offer a shout-out or words of encouragement depending on the situation.

Having said all that, I feel like Facebook has gone from being a fun, intimate dinner party to a keg party in a field crashed by acquaintances who brought friends I don’t know that well. I have 821 friends on Facebook. There is a subset of them who I interact with regularly and I love that experience. Others are just a name with whom I have little to no interaction. I am a minimalist and Facebook makes me feel like I am living in a flea market. I know I need to cleanse my friend list and remove people. I also know I need to downsize my home now that three of my kids are in college, but the steps required to do that are a bit overwhelming — I feel the same albatross around my neck when it comes to a Facebook friend cleansing.

Fortunately, I have found a more peaceful Path that has allowed me to start with a clean slate. Path is an app for the iPhone and Android that “helps you share life with the ones you love.” Sound like Facebook? It’s actually not. Regardless of how big your heart is, realistically, you probably don’t “love” 821 people. You probably like them and may even buy one a beer if you bumped into them in a bar, but love is a whole different emotion. Path limits your social network to 150 people, so you need to think hard about who you want to connect with.

Path is remarkable in its simplicity and jaw-droppingly stunning in its design. Think of it as a journal where you share life’s moments in a minimalist yet breathtaking environment. To some degree Facebook’s new timeline approach is trying to be more Path-like, but Path’s interface trumps FB at every point. Path describes version 2 of the app perfectly when it says, “Path is now a journal that writes itself. Less effort from you, more stories in your Path.” The most un-Facebook-like feature is that Path doesn’t allow friends to post on another friend’s path. Let the peacefulness begin….

For me, Path will not replace Facebook — for now it will co-exist with it. Today, I use Path as my aperture for the social universe. If I choose, I can share my moments with Facebook and Twitter through a simple click in Path’s interface. And Path’s photo filters are simply brilliant, so I choose Path as my starting point for every photo I take with my iPhone.

Robert Browning is credited with the phrase “less is more” in his 1855 poem Andrea del Sarto (the faultless painter). Since then architects and others have used this approach to bring a minimalist-generated harmony to the visual aspects of life. Path takes the “less is more” approach to a whole new level via a new medium. I love walking this new Path. Do you have any plans to pave a new Path?

When the story broke on November 18th that there were allegations Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine had molested two boys from the late 1970s to 1990s, my heart sank. The reaction was not in response to Syracuse being in the middle of a scandal. It was in response to two boys being subjected to unimaginable, life-altering abuse.

It appeared the University acted swiftly by placing Fine on administrative leave while the charges were investigated. I can’t speak to how they responded when the allegations surfaced back in 2005, but in observing this recent scandal it appeared Chancellor Nancy Cantor was going to do the right thing. That was until Syracuse basketball head coach Jim Boeheim opened his ignorant trap and Chancellor Cantor chose to look the other way. Not only did Boeheim support Fine, but also verbally attacked the accusers. The ignorance was an endless spewing of vile commentary:

“I have known Bernie Fine for more than 40 years…. Bernie has my full support.”

This is so laughable. Any childmolestor over the age of forty has been known by someone for over forty years. That doesn’t make them a non-childmolester.

“It is a bunch of a thousand lies that he (Bobby Davis) has told. You don’t think it is a little funny that his cousin (relative) is coming forward?”

Hmmmm….no I don’t think it’s funny that more than one person in his family was abused. Can you repeat the joke Jim, I think I missed it.

“The Penn State thing came out, and the kid behind this is trying to get money. He’s tried before. And now he’s trying again. If he gets this, he’s going to sue the university and Bernie. What do you think is going to happen at Penn State? You know how much money is going to be involved in civil suits? I’d say about $50 million. That’s what this is about. Money.”

Congratulations Bonehead….’er…I mean Boeheim, your reaction is the exact reason why kids being sexually abused don’t tell anyone — they fear nobody will believe them. Chancellor Nancy Cantor should have fired Boeheim on the spot. Instead, she did nothing and in doing so let all kids being sexually abused know that yet another adult would not step in to protect them. Way to go Nance. You now have orange blood on your hands and have spattered it all over the University and those who love it.

Fast forward to the morning of November 27th when ESPN broke a story that included secret recordings of Fine’s wife speaking to knowing about the abuse and saying Bernie “has issues.” All of a sudden, Boeheim has a mouthful of crow and in trying to choke it down releases a very well scripted, cover-his-ass statement:

“The allegations that have come forth today are disturbing and deeply troubling. I am personally very shocked because I have never witnessed any of the activities that have been alleged. I believe the university took the appropriate step tonight. What is most important is that this matter be fully investigated and that anyone with information be supported to come forward so that the truth can be found. I deeply regret any statements I made that might have inhibited that from occurring or been insensitive to victims of abuse.”

In football they call that a Hail Mary. Not sure what the term is in basketball, but one thing is for sure, it seemed to make Chancellor Cantor happy. Today she stated:

“Coach Boeheim is our coach; he’s getting the team ready tonight. We’re very pleased with what he said Sunday night, and we stand by him.”

She must have consulted the Vatican on how to handle this mess. Why else would she choose to stand by a guy who verbally attacked a boy — yes he was a boy when this happened — who was sexually abused for years by a sick pedophile. There is no other way to slice it — in supporting Boeheim, Chancellor Cantor is saying “we value our coach more than we value the sexual abuse victims.” And because Chancellor Cantor represents Syracuse University, it is Syracuse University saying “we value our coach more than we value the sexual abuse victims.” Shame on Chancellor Cantor and the Syracuse Board for allowing Jim Boeheim to keep his job. All three should be terminated before Syracuse’s reputation mirrors that of Penn State.

What do you think?

I have lived in my house for almost ten years and have had four dogs for just about the same amount of time. For ten years I have had UPS and FedEx deliver my online orders with no issues. Moreover, both the UPS drivers and FedEx drivers bring treats for the dogs and get out and pet them. The dogs tails wag in everlasting love as they happily soak up the attention — and snacks.

Fast forward to the middle of 2011 and our neighborhood is assigned a new UPS driver. All of a sudden my packages stop being delivered. Instead of packages, I receive a tsunami of paper notifications that cite the packages are undeliverable because the “dogs were out.”

Now let me immerse you into reality of this “dogs were out” situation. My dogs are not like Cujo — the rabies-ridden St. Bernard who unleashes a reign of terror on a family. Two of my dogs are chocolate labs. Have ‘ya ever seen a lab? They are incredibly sweet and the only terror they unleash is if you happen to turn your back on your food — they will swoop in and consume it like a seagull. One of my dogs is a Shiba Inu. She is small and looks like a fox. She wags her tail so crazily she looks like a middle-aged woman doing the chicken dance at a wedding. Our forth dog Indy is a rescue dog. We went to the shelter and told them we wanted the dog that nobody wanted and had been there the longest. We think he is an Australian Sheppard/Spaniel mix. He is definitely a barker, but certainly doesn’t foam at the mouth.

I was finally able to catch the UPS driver one day and asked him why he wouldn’t deliver the packages. He was surprisingly rude and actually barked at me when he responded. He said he was not going to risk his life to deliver my packages. Excuse me? I never recalled reading that a lab had killed a man. Just to be sure, I Googled “lab kills man.” The only lab that ever killed a man was an exploding meth lab, not a dopey chocolate lab.

I went on to tell the driver that we have an electric fence for the dogs, so they couldn’t get on the front walkway or grass. As such, all he needed to do was drive down the driveway and step out his driverside door and directly onto my front walkway. The electric fence means he would never have to be within 10 feet of any of my harmless dogs. He barked at me again and said he refused to do that.

I called the local UPS distribution center and spoke to a supervisor. I was very reasonable and calm while I explained the situation. She informed me that this particular driver had been bit by a dog and now feared them. While I empathized with his situation, I explained that I thought that should be UPS’s issue, not mine. A quick Google search identified that 39% of US households own at least one dog — that’s 44.9 million households who own 78.2 million dogs.

So here’s my question: Should the customer who owns a dog/s suffer the consequences of a UPS driver who has a fear of dogs or should UPS deal with this issue because the driver is incapable of performing his duties? I’m pretty sure if a person was afraid of water (Aquaphobia), they wouldn’t be hired as a lifeguard. Or if someone was afraid of riding in a car (Amaxophobia), they wouldn’t be hired as a limo driver. So if 44.9 million households in the US have dog/s, how can someone with a fear of dogs (Cynophobia) be hired as a UPS driver?

Do you think UPS brand colors should be brown and gold or, perhaps more appropriately, brown and scaredy cat yellow?I

This epiphany was triggered when I was listening to Howard Stern. Mangroomer was running radio spots on the Stern Show telling people to go “Like” their Facebook page to be entered into a contest. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Mangroomer, they are the folks who help men get rid of unwanted hair from their back, balls, nose and ears. (I just threw up in my mouth). My visceral reaction to the ad was, “Who would publicly want anyone to know they have a rug on their back and balls?” (Oops, just threw up again). Well apparently, the answer is guys who have a sense of humor. Although there isn’t a lot of engagement on the Facebook page, the men who did post often left funny comments. As an example:

“i use the mangroomer every friday before i hit the town! the mangroomer does leave my back a little scratched up for a few hours after, (i have very sensitive skin) i end up going home with a girl and she sees the scratches and thought i had been with another girl the night before!!! she was not pleased! i explained to her my friday ritual and she laughed and we continued!”

Mangroomer’s Facebook page only has 761 likes. I would imagine the brand would have hoped for more given they spent money on radio spots to promote the page. I think Mangroomer may be on the social media outcast list.

Mangroomer got me thinking about what other brands would probably be considered a social media outcast. Here are the first two that came to mind:

Vagisil: I’m not sure I would be comfortable sending a tweet to @vagisil that said something like:

@vagisil you guys rock. every time i get that cheesy discharge, vagisil clears it up quickly. #byebyfirecrotch

Interestingly enough, I found that the @vagisil Twitter handle is not owned by Vagisil and is being used to send out funny tweets about vaginas. As an example, a recent post was:

“Smell something funky? well yeah its ur VAGINA< come holla and get some cream to stop the itching before you scream!”

Vagisil has a Facebook page with 4,671 likes. The problem is that it’s in Spanish so I can’t tell if it’s real. Many of the comments are from men. Perhaps they are expressing their eternal gratitude for Vagisil’s help in taking care of the stanky issue their wife/girlfriend had been dealing with. What man wouldn’t worship that alter?

Viagra: It looks like Viagra is another social media outcast. I can’t say I’m surprised. I think you would have to search long and hard (no pun intended) to find a guy who would want to express his love for Viagra across his social media channels. Can you imagine the tweet:

@viagra Thank you for helping me be a man again. And for reminding me that bathtubs outside can be fun. #getitup

Or maybe Viagra, like many brands, could use its Twitter handle as a medium for fielding customer service issues:

@hornypete Thanks for letting us know you have had a hard on for 26 hours. We suggest you call 911. Thanks again for your brand loyalty.

I don’t think you need to be a branding savant to recognize that the Viagra Facebook page is probably not real given the profile picture they use.

Vagisil and Viagra were the first brands to pop in my mind as social media outcasts. What other brands would you put on the list?

My experience is that Real Housewives fans have a positive association to the brand and wear it like a badge of honor in the same way Lady Gaga wears Alexander McQueen. We are not ashamed to admit our addiction and we’re amongst good company when passing the Real Housewives bong. Denise Richards, Anderson Cooper, Kelly Rippa, Gayle King and a laundry list of other top celebrities publicly toke on that same bong when going on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live to mingle with and dish about the Housewives. Seriously, watching Anderson Cooper giggle uncontrollably with Nene Leakes makes me deliriously happy.

And none of us self-proclaimed Housewives fanatics seem to mind that “real” is usually not even delivered as part of the Real Housewives brand promise. The word is used quite loosely when describing the program’s content. Given that 10 housewives have declared bankruptcy, I’m not sure much footage is grounded in reality. Yet we still toke away on the brand.

But while many peeps get doped up on the Real Housewives brand, mass quantities of people feel that the series is an assassination of their regional brand. As if Jersey Shore didn’t instantly strip the state of New Jersey of all dignity and positive brand equity, along came the Guidices and Gorgas to make sure the state’s perception stayed permanently flat lined. Judging from the social media chatter and blogosphere activity, the same brand assassination appears to have occurred when people think of places like Orange County, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, and Miami. For some reason, New York City appears to have stayed above the brand assassination fray. The NYC brand image is clearly way too big and established to be impacted by Jill Zarin’s bullying or Ramona Singer’s alcohol-fueled antics.

But, let’s get real. This is television. While we may get hypnotized by word “real,” do you really, really think it is? This is about ratings. This is about amping up the shock factor so the Housewives can keep the paychecks coming to dig themselves out of bankruptcy. Mo’ crazy mo’ money — the crazier they act, the more money they’ll get. It’s a business and I happily show up and pay my toll. I love it because unlike the rest of my life, it requires not-one-singe-brain-cell to process. And at the end of the day, I have enough common sense to know that these nutbags are not an accurate representation of people from the show’s state or region. When I think of New Jersey, I think of my friend Grace who embodies every attribute you would want in a human being — honesty, integrity, humor, generosity, kindness and a dedication to family that rivals Caroline Manzo’s.

Do you think Real Housewives is assassinating the regional brands or are you able to separate the two? Oh, yeah, and while you’re at it, who do you think is the craziest Housewive of all time?

When I entered in my home address, I was given one click access to call John Kerry, Scott Brown and James McGovern. I decided to call Scott Brown because in addition to letting him know I really didn’t think that it was a good time for America to go into default, I had a bone to pick with him about being the only one from the Mass congressional delegation to not appear in the anti-bullying “It Gets Better” video — but I am saving the latter discussion on another call. My message to Senator Brown’s office on today’s call– “If it doesn’t help the poor, the needy or small businesses, cut it now. And raise my taxes if it will help.”

Call For The Dream was clearly developed by peeps who lean left, but I encourage everyone — left, right, center, rich, poor, straight, gay, or whatever — to call and have your voice heard. Oh and if you’re gay, give Ann Coulter a call right afterward, she can help you straighten out even if you are a male who sings show tunes while wearing a pink feathered boa and high heels. And, if you are really, really super gay, it might be worth an extra call to Michelle Bachmann’s husband’s gay therapy clinic. I hear he is “wicked smaht.” He can make gay go away no matter how gay you are. I heard he was able to take a lesbian who used to wear a sports bra, gym shorts and a knee brace as a bathing suit into a feminine girly-girl who now goes to the beach in a pink bikini, with pink lipstick and long flowing hair with a pink ribbon in it. I mean this guy is amazing!

But seriously, I love my country like Bob Marley loved the gange. And I love my children more than life itself. Their future and happiness are at risk. We are out of runway with the debt ceiling. Nobody wants to suffer the catastrophic consequences of no resolution by the August 2nd deadline. Please call today.

What’s your message to Washington?

“Gays need to quit being pussies and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying.”

“Gay is something that kids learn from the media and programming.”

“Better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I’ll pull out a knife and stab that little n**ger <referring to his son> to death.”

“I don’t fucking care if I piss off some gays, because if they can take a fucking dick up their ass … they can take a fucking joke.”

I’m gay and I thought his words were harsh, but I didn’t jump on the bandwagon that wanted to crucify him. I didn’t tweet about it, didn’t put anything on my Facebook wall and didn’t produce any blogosphere content on the subject. My feeling was he was a comedian just trying to get a laugh. Although I do think such rants feed into the bullying frenzy that has been ignited across America, right or wrong, his rant didn’t motivate me to react.

That all changed after his NYC performance this weekend where he made fun of the intellectually disabled. His ignorant spewing included:

“Don’t ever mess with women who have retarded kids. Them young retarded males is strong. They’re strong like chimps.”

Not funny asshole. Now you are picking on a group of human beings who can’t defend themselves. A group of human beings who need a voice. Feeling like a man now, Tracy? I would argue that in spite of their disabilities, they have more intelligence when it comes to kindness and respect than you could ever find.

While the gay community has come a long way educating people about not using the word “fag” as a slur, those advocating for the intellectually disabled have a much longer road ahead when it comes to educating people to not use the “R-Word” as a slur. The “Spread The Word To End The Word” campaign has gotten a ton of traction and social sharing has amplified its voice and reach.  However, it still has a long way to go before it displaces the R-Word from today’s vernacular. The R-Word is hurtful, hateful, derogatory and downright offensive.

If you haven’t already, share the “Spread The Word To End The Word” through your social graph. Even more importantly, speak up and educate when you hear someone use the word. Most people are horrified when you bring it to their attention and most didn’t realize how hurtful the word is.

How do you feel about Tracy Morgan now: forgive or fry?

The rejection associated with trying to land your first job blows. I distinctly remember interviewing for a sales job with Campbell Soup Company right after I got out of college. It was a disaster. I must have had absolutely no self awareness and most likely smoked a joint before the interview. I remember the hiring manager asked me, “What can you offer Campbell Soup?” My response, “My upward mobility.” WTF did I mean by that? I think I must have read that phrase someplace and clearly didn’t understand the context of what I was reading or saying. The guy practically laughed in my face and quickly escorted me out the door. I was an idiot.

One of my favorite things in life is to offer a job to a recent college grad. The happiness you bring to that person is unforgettable. That level of happiness can only be trumped when you ask if they received their first paycheck and watch as they get bugged-eyed as if they won the lottery. In an effort to create as many of those happy moments as possible, I offer the following insight to help you get your foot in the door rather than a door in the face when trying to land your first gig out of college.

Names Have A Voice: Pay attention to the little details like email addresses and file names. If I get a resume submission from the email address badboybill@<insert isp>.com, chances are I will hit delete before I even see the first letter in the first word in the first line of the email message.

Fonts Are Forensic: I am speechless that more people do not realize that font styles and sizes offer forensic evidence for cutting-and-pasting-palooza. If you cut and paste content from previous emails or your resume or wherever, always highlight the entire body of whatever you are sending and standardize the font style and size before you hit send. Otherwise, the hiring manager will feel like you didn’t spend a second trying to be original and reading it will give them a headache.

GPAs Matter: I don’t care if you went to Harvard or a shitty state school like I did, your GPA matters. I want to hire people who worked their butts off while they were in college. I want to hire people who understood that while they may have partied five nights a week, they still needed to get good grades. A GPA says a lot about work ethic. If you had a crappy GPA, you are not going to have a sudden job-induced epiphany that NOW is the time to work hard. To the contrary, you are probably likely to be a lazy-ass sloth who needs to be prodded to do a task that can then only be described as “half-assed” once completed.

Cover Letters — A 2×4 or Ambien: Take the standard cover letter your college career counselor gave you and use it next time you run out of toilet paper. Nothing makes me want to barf up a fur ball more than cover letter copy that has been used since before the candidate was even born. Be bold. Be outrageous. Leverage humor. Whatever you do, be sure to stand out in a smart, savvy way that would make me want to meet you.

Take Your Lips Off The Salary Crack Pipe: Recent college grads looking to enter the PR field and whose only experience is an internship should not state that their salary requirements are $40,000 – $45,000. ‘Nuff said.

Use Social Media As An Amplifier: We just hired an Account Coordinator who sent me a Tweet about wanting the job. The Tweet got her submission above the noise level. Send Tweets, comment on blogs, send a video via Facebook, etc. Social media is a great way to make a one-to-one connection with a hiring manager who is probably too busy to take your call and is drowning in resumes that all sound alike.

Firm Handshake Sets The Tone: Everyone — men and women — should greet the interviewer with a firm handshake. My skin crawls when some limp, soft hand acts completely lifeless when I am shaking it. Ick.

Eye Contact Is Powerful: I interviewed someone last week who didn’t look me in the eye the entire interview. She kept looking out the window behind me. By the end, I actually thought she was stoned. Seriously. And maybe that should be a separate tip: Don’t Show Up Stoned.

Be Passionate: Passionate people stand out. I want to work with passionate people. I want to feel their energy from the moment they walk in my office. I want my clients to feel how pumped someone is to work on the their account.

Do Your Homework: The company’s website will tell you a ton about the company culture. If you go to the K&P website, you will learn a boatload. We are dog lovers. We are driven by happiness. We are social media junkies. We have fun clients. Immerse yourself in a brand before you send a resume or Tweet. Leverage that insight to show you know your potential employer inside-out-and-sideways.

Tell Me You Want The Job: You would be blown away by how few candidates actually tell me they want the job. I want to hire people who enthusiastically and literally communicate that they want to work at K&P.

What have I missed? Share your insight and/or experiences.

I think that happiness was the driving force. The whole event made me happy. I smiled, laughed and applauded throughout the morning. Even when I cried over the mention of Princess Diana, I was happy. I was happy for the Brits and the joy that radiated from the flag-waving crowds. I was happy because those flags remind me of Austin Powers — yeah, baby, yeah! I was happy to see all the different hats even though I would rather have my lungs filled with asbestos over having to wear one. I was happy that Prince William found someone as amazingly kind-hearted as his Mom. I was happy for Kate because for as much as nothing in life is perfect, her day certainly appeared to be. I was happy that the moment she stepped out of the Bentley in front of Westminster Abbey the sun broke through the clouds. I was happy that Harry’s hair was a tousled mess because it was so fitting of his party-boy personality. I was happy the Queen even looked happy in spite of rarely expressing any emotion that doesn’t resemble constipation. I was happy to see the flower girls and paige boys moving around like little royal mini-me’s. I was happy that Victoria Beckham looked irritated that she had to wait in a non-VIP line. I was happy in knowing that no heterosexual marriages would disintegrate even though Elton John brought his husband to this colossal event.

So if simple happiness drove a mass of three billion people to take action, why doesn’t the pursuit of happiness prevail in other situations? Peace brings so much more happiness than war, yet it remains elusive. Love brings so much more happiness than hate, yet bigotry exists across the world. Kindness brings so much more happiness than cruelty, yet bullying is an epidemic. And, the list goes on and on.

Did you watch the Royal Wedding? If so, what was your motivation?

Please note: Comments on this blog are moderated. Any comments that are focused on personal attacks, bullying, threats or overall negativity will be removed.

Following all three pregnancies, I took whatever maternity leave was allowed, tagged on a couple of weeks of saved vacation and made the best of it. It usually meant I had about three months off. And then I was right back into my full-time job feeling ragged, out of shape and missing my kids. But still, the thought of not working never crossed my mind.

I think I was a better mom because I worked. While I cherished the time I had with my kids, having time away from them allowed me to be a multi-dimensional person with better balance. I know my kids saw my struggles as I tried to juggle work and them. And, I failed a lot. Sometimes the milk was sour, sometimes I missed a deadline to sign them up for a sports team, sometimes their shoes were too small, and sometimes I just forgot they needed to be somewhere. Regardless, instead of failure I think they saw an unwavering commitment to get over the endless stream of the obstacles life throws at you. And, more importantly, they saw that I was happy in spite of what some might describe as chaos.

Now, let me tell you something about my three oldest kids. They are all very different. I often like to use a coloring analogy to describe them. My daughter Julia was — and still is — one to always push the bounds and always colors outside the lines. My son Shaun is someone who always took rules very seriously and would never, ever color outside the lines. And my son Patrick didn’t know you wanted him to color, but would be happy to start coloring now if you still needed him to.

For as astonishingly unique as they are, they are bound by one clear strand of my DNA — the need to have a job. Each of them has had a job since they were about 15. Shaun and Patrick work 60+ hours a week in the summer at a very busy restaurant on the Cape. Julia has always somehow juggled two jobs at the same time while consistently making the Dean’s list in college. Yet, I don’t ever remember saying to them: “You need to get a job.” It’s as if they inherently knew at age 15 that in order to achieve balance and accountability in one’s life, work is something that you just need to figure out. Trips with friends, tickets to concerts, or meals out don’t just happen. Having the independence to do the things they love comes at a price. And, if they have learned in the process that you can be happy while maintaining the requirements of life — school, work, whatever — then I’ve done my job.

I must have blinked. Today, I have two kids in college and one graduating high school in about eight weeks. Yet I have an incredible calm when I think about their future. I don’t know what they’ll be, but I have a feeling they will be happy. Because as innate as having a job is to them, I know that they are driven by a greater cause — the need to be accountable, responsible and self-sufficient — independent of me but forever marked by my DNA (and, thankfully my mom’s).

Do you think having a working kid is nature or nurture?

Please note: Comments on this blog are moderated. Any comments that are focused on personal attacks, bullying, threats or overall negativity will be removed.

Child sexual abuse is an epidemic. As I’ve stated previously on this blog, I was sexually abused as a child by a really messed up uncle. Thankfully, I believe I am the resilient, stand-up-to-bullies and defend-the-underdog person I am today because of this sexual abuse and I would never go back and change my childhood. However, I do believe we, as a collective society, need to put a full throttle assault on child sexual abuse. And, I believe the only way to do this is through a well executed marketing campaign.

Breast cancer owns pink. Heart disease owns red. In light of Scott Brown’s recent disclosure, I think someone should launch a campaign called “I’m Brown.” The I’m Brown campaign would be a platform for people to come out and share that they too were a victim of childhood sexual abuse. I think unsurpassed strength, unity, dignity, and empowerment would come from not only the volume of people who stand up, but from the individual stories of those who stand up. As adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, we need to give a voice to the countless child victims who are unable to speak or be heard on their own.

The I’m Brown campaign is ideal for execution across all social media channels. The simple act of adding an I’m Brown iconic emblem to Twitter, Facebook, blogs and other social media profiles/platforms will ignite global awareness through its community of survivors and their social graph.

I think we should wear the I’m Brown statement like a badge of honor. There should be no shame. I’m Brown represents surviving an incomprehensible assault as a child. Let’s use a color that nobody thinks is appealing and take it back and own it. Let’s build a new identity and association for the color brown and take it to a place where it becomes synonymous with courage, survival and zero tolerance. Let’s let today’s kids know that adults who have identified with I’m Brown are a safe haven when it comes to disclosing they are being sexually abused. Let’s let kids know that I’m Brown adults will believe them and protect them. And most importantly, through the I’m Brown campaign, let’s put all sexual predators on alert that we as a society are going to circle the wagons around our children and defend them. Moreover, in honor of Scott Brown, I think we should propose and enact new legislation that is a “one strike you’re out” when it comes to sexually abusing children. If someone is convicted of sexually assaulting a child, they should be sentenced to life in prison. Period.

I’m Brown. Are you?

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In a few rare cases, the word thrill doesn’t do the quote justice. Take for example, Google’s acquisition this week of SayNow. In the release, SayNow co-founders were quoted as saying:

“We are thrilled to announce that we have been acquired by Google.”

Ummmmm….really, dudes? I think a quote that would have more accurately captured how you were feeling would have been something like:

“We are stoked that we are now rich beyond our wildest dreams. Booyah!”

OK, so maybe that language is a bit too edgy for some brands, but the point is dare to be different. Be the thrill police. Don’t use the word thrilled in the press release draft that you give to your client and if they try to edit it in, playfully accuse them of being dull. Seriously. Nobody wants to be dull and some people just need to be pointed to an alternative.

Thesaurus.com offers the following synonyms for “thrilled” when used as an adjective:

“animated, aroused, elated, electrified, fired up, inspired, moved, stirred, touched, worked up.”

Something tells me “aroused” would have been a better way to describe how the founders of SayNow felt when they found out the Google acquisition was finalized.

I’m also a big fan of using UrbanDictionary.com. Although you always need to weed out a few really offensive search results, here’s what they came back with as an option for the word thrilled:

“excited, happy, ecstatic, stoked, psyched, pumped, elated, overjoyed, anxious, jazzed, joyful, pleased, enthralled, exhilarated, amped, enthused, jubilant, enthusiastic, energized, satisfied.”

There are lots of good options here, if you can get your client to step outside the box and let you add some real energy and originality to the quote.

Clearly Ann Taylor doesn’t like being outside the box and they were so ridiculously thrilled, that they used the word twice when they announced Katie Holmes as the face of Ann Taylor’s Spring 2011 advertising campaign:

“We are thrilled to have Katie as the face of Ann Taylor….” said Christine Beauchamp, President of Ann Taylor Stores.

“I’ve been a fan of Ann Taylor since I was a young girl….I am thrilled to be part of a brand I believe in,” said Holmes.

Really Katie? Ann Taylor gives you goose bumps and leaves you panting from excitement? If that were the case, I’m sure TMZ would have broke that story with a video capturing the moment long before the press release ever hit the wire. Ann leaving Katie panting would have certainly aroused Tom Cruise faster than you can say, “Where’s Oprah’s couch?”

To thrill or not to thrill. Thoughts?

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Before Facebook, to keep memories alive, someone had look at the old photos that they collected somewhere in a box or swap stories with a friend. Once in a while, you might even hear or tell a story or memory that had never been shared. However, in most cases, a loved one’s life is often recalled through common headlines, iconic representations of who they once were — the athlete, the giver, the comedian, the whatever. The stories reinforce the overarching attributes that defined someones life, but really never capture the spirit or emotion of the person who passed. The voice of the deceased died when they did.

For younger people, the challenge to remember a lost loved one is only further amplified. Imagine a child who lost a parent when they were six years old. At the end of the day, they will never really know that parent from first-hand experience. They are dependent on the shared stories of others and a limited number of old photos.

Enter Facebook. Although one of its least talked about attributes, Facebook allows for a loved one to have a voice, even after death. Facebook permanently captures all the granular details that would otherwise get lost in time. From the daily status updates to conversations between friends, Facebook enables the deceased’s voice to live on through the shared content.

Imagine a six year old losing a parent today. If the parent has been on Facebook for a few years, that six year old now has a first hand, daily account of that parent’s life. They can hear the parents voice through the multiple status updates that they posted. They can see what types of communications occurred between the parent and his/her friends and get a sense of the things that made them laugh or cry. Facebook content captures the life of a human being from his or her perspective and ensures that no memory will ever fade.

I would give my left lung to have had my Mom on Facebook before she passed 7+ years ago. I have a feeling she would have been addicted to the platform. She would have loved how connected she could be with family and friends. And I would love nothing more than to go back and witness her life again through her own voice.

As crazy as it sounds, I take some comfort in knowing that my kids will be able to go back through my profile after I pass. They can be reminded first hand of the things that I was passionate about and the things that sent me over the edge. They can laugh at the things that made me laugh. They can see that I was happy and loved my life. And more importantly, they can see that they were my life. My comfort is not rooted in anything narcissistic on my part, but because I honestly believe Facebook will ease their healing process and keep memories alive in a way that before Facebook was never possible. I believe Facebook will bring them happiness and peace sooner than they could have ever experienced before it existed.

For as much as Facebook is about sharing and experiencing life, I think its impact after death is a far greater contribution to the world. What do you think?

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Alert: How you tried to act in front of the cop who pulled you over when you were in high school and clearly had way too much to drink

Always-On: That annoying friend who thought being funny was a 24-hour commitment

Apps: Things you ate at a party in the seventies when the limited choices included a cheese ball covered in nasty nuts, devilled eggs, ham pinwheels, cocktail weenies, and cream cheese filled celery

Bookmarking: The act of noting a page with a laminated construction paper strip with a glued-on school photo of your child, pieces of cut doily, a tassel and shreds of felt

Browser: The bitch that constantly roamed your store but never bought anything

Bulletin Board: A framed piece of cork that hung on your bedroom wall and proudly displayed your certificates of accomplishment, sports ribbons, Polaroid photos, dried corsage, and yellowed newspaper clippings

Chat: What a nice mother would say she needed to have with you after the Principal handed her a stack of absentee notes you had forged — I’m just saying….

Comment: A verbal reply that could range in tone from June Cleaver to wise ass

Conversation: A verbal exchange between two people whose proximity was so close you could smell each other’s breath

Craigslist: Something a seven-year-old boy holding his breath would give to Santa knowing full well that he would have “naughty” next to his name

Delicious: Because you didn’t know any better, a word often used to describe the nasty “Apps” listed above

Dig(g): A term hippies used to confirm their stoned friend understood what they had said — as in, “Ya dig?”

Engagement: A promise to marry that used to only be allowed between a man and a woman until we gays came along and ruined the sanctity of marriage

Feed: What a farmer did to his cows, chickens, sheep and goats to ensure they didn’t die

FlashMob: Involved a group of people, trench coats, nudity and arrests

Flickr: Something you used to do with a boogie

Foursquare: A playground game that involved a square court and four players — cell phone, check-ins and badges were not required

Friends: Kids who came over to your house when your parents were out and helped you drink your dad’s Schlitz beer

Hashtag: A tap on your friend’s shoulder before you passed him/her the bong

Host: Someone who wore an apron and owned the house where those nasty “Apps” were being served

Like: A word used to describe a middle school crush and was usually followed by “going out” which had nothing to do with leaving the building

Links: Made of chains and found in a fence that surrounded an above-ground pool, hibatchi grill, tether ball pole and whirly bird

Lurker: The weird neighbor whose pants’ pockets always had holes in them

Mashup: Involved a bunch of boiled potatoes and a kitchen utensil that looked like it would be better used to brand cattle

MySpace: Part of a three word retort you would scream at your mother after she told you to clean up your filthy room — As in “It’s my space!”

Pandora: That trouble-making Greek biyatch who used a box to store all things evil

Photosharing: The act of passing around funny Polaroids that may have included you with Noxema on your face or holding a Stayfree sanitary napkin the size of an airplane pillow or putting on Bonne Bell flavored lip gloss

Post: What the Center — who was probably wearing white canvas high tops — on your basketball team did in an attempt to get the ball passed to him/her

Profile: When used almost always had the words “serial killer” before it

Sharing: What first graders did with their bologna sandwiches at lunch and it never involved pushing a button

StumbleUpon: Usually what you did to the cop after he pulled you over when you were in high school and clearly had way too much to drink

Tag: A sale in your front yard where you could earn $1.05 from selling your Wacky Packs and your mother’s old wigs

Threads: What you were wearing when you passed the bong to your friend

Tool: A completely unaware poser who thinks the world is impressed with his sexual prowess but who usually elicits the response “loser” behind his back

Trolls: Those way-too-creepy, tiny, naked dolls with the wild-ass hair who look like they licked an electrical outlet

Tumblr: A cup made from toxin-filled plastic that is sure to have you glowing in the dark later in life

Tweet: What the birds did way too early in the morning the night after the cop pulled you over when you were in high school and clearly had way too much to drink

TweetUp: Something two horny birds did after too much booze

Viral: Something you didn’t want to get and sure in the heck didn’t want to spread

Widget: Something a manufacturer made when you had no effing idea what they actually made

Yelp: What a dog did when you accidentally hit him with your banana bike

What hijacked words come to mind when you think of the world before social media?

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• Promoting your own account
• Talking about Twitter in publications, on TV, at conferences
• Displaying Tweets in your broadcast or online
• Writing a book about Twitter
• Using Twitter screenshots
• Merchandise/manufactured items
• Using the Twitter marks in your ad/marketing campaign
• Naming your application/product, applying for a domain
• Visual design of your website or application
• Other things to know about the Twitter trademark

Twitter has been on the receiving end of a tsunami of bitch-slapping responses following publishing these new guidelines. Yesterday, Silicon Alley Insider published a post called Hey Twitter Enough Of This Crap About “Here’s How You Can Use The Word Tweet.” The vast majority of the new guidelines have to do with the usage of the word “Twitter” and its logo. Twitter has a trademark on the word “Twitter” and it is clearly trying to get its arms around usage. Just because 100 million plus people use Twitter doesn’t mean it can be a trademark gang bang with feathers flying all over the place. I’m sure well over a billion people drink Coke every year, but nobody is outraged over the rigid trademark guidelines Coca Cola established and enforces. Trademarks are everything to big brands. From Google to Apple to Target to BMW to McDonald’s, trademarks ensure the brand equity is not misrepresented, leveraged or stolen in ways that would harm the brand or benefit another company. Why should Twitter be held to a different standard? Because they have a bird in their logo? Seriously, if I started a technology company called GoogleGaggle, does anyone think Google might have a right to get pissy. Or if I started a new blog called SiliconAlleyInsiderButInBoston, do you think SAI would be OK with that and perhaps link to my site. Doubtful. I bet I would have a lawyer up my butt waving a Cease & Desist faster than I can type the word “help” in a Tweet.

So why all the outrage over Twitter’s new guidelines. It appears the bulk of it — which I agree with — is in response to how Twitter is attempting to dictate the usage of the word “Tweet.” At issue is that Twitter doesn’t have a trademark on the word Tweet. They have tried to trademark Tweet, but have failed repeatedly. Unlike “Google” which was a word that became common vernacular because the company introduced it to us, Twitter is trying to abduct a word that has been around since man heard the first bird open its beak and let out a sound. OK, that is a slight exaggeration, but you get the gist of what I am trying to say.

Maybe Twitter is attempting to abduct the word Tweet as a possible monetization strategy and is taking a page out of Lindsay Lohan’s playbook of perceived infringement. Remember when Lindsay filed a $100 million dollar lawsuit against E-Trade in response to its 2010 Super Bowl commercial referencing “that milkaholic Lindsay?” Lindsay settled the suit and it has been reported she made a pretty penny on the deal. How can that be? There must be a million girls named Lindsay who were born long before Ms. Lohan. How is it that Lindsay Lohan can somehow stake claim on a name she doesn’t have a trademark on and actually leverage it financially through a legal claim? Not sure but the answer must lie in the same vault that hold the answer to the question Why does CBS still stand behind Charlie Sheen?

What do you think about Twitter trying to dictate the usage of the word Tweet?

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Last night Kel & Partners had the incredible opportunity to host a party as part of Tony Hsieh’s Delivering Happiness bus tour. As most of you know, Tony’s book, Delivering Happiness, hit # 1 on the New York Times Best Seller list. It’s a gripping read that tells a rare story of how Tony’s commitment to corporate culture lead to extraordinary success while delivering endless amounts of happiness along the way. Although Tony sold his first company to Microsoft for hundreds of millions of dollars and recently sold Zappos to Amazon for close to a billion dollars, it is Tony’s humble demeanor that most impresses me. While his business success is jaw-dropping, his kindness is even more notable.

Interestingly enough, Tony is also not a fan of networking events that are self-serving for pure business purposes. He prefers to get to know people as people regardless of their position in the business world and believes this indirect approach often times still leads to something good for your business. As such, we asked that people who attended the party only put their first name on the name tag and not include the name of their company. As a conversation starter, we also asked everyone to write one thing on their name tag that’s a little weird but makes them happy. My name tag said “Kel” and below that it said “Flossing.” The weird but happy comments were striking and acted as a catalyst for dynamic conversations that dripped of genuine passion versus obligatory motivation. The weird but happy comments included things like happy sea turtles, snoring bulldog, yawning pandas, hoedowns, bit o’ honey, polka dots, demolishing buildings and cats doing flips — although I’m concerned about the cat comment since most cats don’t do flips out of self-motivation. The conversation buzz level in the space felt lighter and more natural than what I usually experience at a networking-like event. As I looked around at the 150+ people, I saw unusual pairings deeply immersed in animated conversations. The insightful takeaway was that for as passionate as people are about the business they work for, most, if not all, get even more lit by something that has absolutely nothing to do with business.

Imagine a world where delivering happiness held the top spot on every corporate objectives list and displaced today’s reigning champion, Driving Revenue Growth. Last night, it was so invigorating for me to speak to so many young entrepreneurs who are as passionate about delivering happiness as they are about becoming the next Mark Zuckerberg. Even more exhilarating is the thought that because so many people have bought Tony’s book, propelling it to the #1 spot on the NYT Business Best Seller List, that maybe we are about to witness a shake up in the business world. Maybe passion and purpose will learn to coexist with profits. Maybe business leaders will have an “a-ha” moment where they have the epiphany that unheard-of customer service can lead to a business that exceeds even their wildest dreams. Maybe these same leaders will put their employees happiness ahead of their own and realize true nirvana is better measured in smiles than in dollars.

I’m really hoping Delivering Happiness becomes a thread in the fabric of all businesses. I’m kinda tired of licking subway railings and it is a total buzz kill to my flossing efforts.

Would you rather lick a subway railing or attend a networking event?

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When it comes to the representation of a brand, boxed-in best practices would have you believe a single iconic representation is the right thing to do. This has certainly proven a smart yet safe strategy for many brands. From the Enegizer Bunny to Tony The Tiger to the Jolly Green Giant to the Pillsbury Dough Boy, these brands have seen success through leveraging a single icon over many decades. Well, GEICO clearly doesn’t give a lizard’s tail what other brands have done.

Not only is GEICO leveraging three brand icons at once, the personalities of these icons could not be more different. And, one might argue that the icons they have chosen are not necessarily representative of the attributes you would want to communicate the brand essence of an insurance company.

The GEICO Gecko is a humble, endearing, guy-next-door kind of character who lately spends most of his time trying to survive the mishaps and ideas of a overly corny, unoriginal GEICO executive. Given the similarities between the words “GEICO” and “gecko” the brand wasn’t taking as big a risk as Aflac did when they choose a hapless, annoying duck as its brand icon. The gecko character along with the call to action of “fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance” was very successful. Most brands would have stayed the course for decades leveraging this single icon. Not GEICO. Somewhere in the land of “dare to be different,” they decided creating a neanderthal as a brand icon was going to be their next move. Even more interesting was that they chose not to replace the gecko but to add it as second icon which I’m sure sent the marketing know-it-alls into a green tailspin. Can you imagine how many employees fought this decision? Can you imagine how many pundits predicted this brand strategy would fall flat?

As everyone knows, the GEICO Cavemen live in today’s world and appear to be fitting in until they encounter and insulting ad stating “GEICO: so easy a caveman could do it.” The cavemen couldn’t be further from the personality of the gecko in that they are somewhat cocky, desperately seeking hipness, definitely not cute and in need of a wax. But it worked. It broke the best practices brand rules and thrived in spite of it.

So now they have the gecko and the cavemen. They took a risk and it paid off. However, instead of breathing a sigh of relief and high fiving each other until the geckos come home, in a Sybil-like move, GEICO decides to introduce a third icon to the brand lineup. But it is not just the addition of this incremental icon that is so surprising, it’s that they chose to make the icon a creepy, voyeuristic pile of cash with eyes. Seriously, the peeps at GEICO must flip the bird day in and day out to anyone who says “best practices.”  Known as GEICO Kash, the icon always appears with the line “the money you could be saving.” More money, more messaging. From “15 minutes…” to “so easy..” to “money…saving…” GEICO votes consistency off the island quicker than Gatorade drop-kicked Tiger.

And oh by the way, in addition to the ads that run the three icons cited above, GEICO is executing “Rhetorical Question” and “Talking Objects” ads as well. While not as icon driven, the ads add more messaging and complexity to the brand.

Hats off to The Martin Agency for not only identifying a complex, multi-tiered brand strategy, but for getting a bunch of insurance execs to buy off on it. That feat is certainly not so easy that a caveman could do it.

Who is your favorite GEICO personality?

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You would have to have lived under a rock to have never heard the quote, “Money can’t buy you happiness.” It is this very quote that sums up the negative brand image money is dealing with today. I think it’s time for a money brand makeover. I believe money can buy you happiness and some of the happiest moments in my life revolved around an experience with money. The difference is that it involved giving it away, not spending it.

About seven years ago, I read the book Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By In America. My daughter was entering high school at the time and the book was required summer reading. The book is about the author who goes undercover and tries to live on various minimum wage jobs. Needless to say, she can’t survive on minimum wage and and the emotional and physical toll it takes on her is extremely disheartening. Having read the book, I have not been able to encounter an adult making minimum wage without wondering how difficult his or her life situation must be. Since reading the book, I have started a regular routine of finding a minimum-wage employee who looks like he/she needs a break and giving them $100 cash. Of all the wonderful things I have experienced in my life, I can say aside from the birth of my children, my wedding and my nephew being declared cancer free, nothing has brought me more happiness than these random acts of giving.

I remember being at a dumpy iHop on Easter morning a few years ago and watching a waitress race around frantically trying to keep up with what was clearly too many tables to manage. People didn’t look at her when they spoke to her and if they did, it was because they were yelling at her for something. She looked so ragged and defeated. I walked over and gave her $100. She burst into tears and hugged me as she told me of the horrific bad luck she had experienced and how much she needed the money. I proceeded to open my wallet and give her everything I had in it. While it made me incredibly happy to make her happy, the sadness I felt for her situation was overwhelming.

I look at what Bill and Melinda Gates are doing through their foundation and can’t help but see money in a positive light. I look at Alex’s Lemonade Stand and tear up hearing Alexandra “Alex” Scott raised over $1 million to find a cure for the disease that took her life when she was eight years old. The positive stories about money are endless and I find them awe-inspiring. These peeps are motivated by money in a way that will change the world one penny at a time.

So how does money reposition itself? Good question. Perhaps like many brands it needs to create a new category and dissociate itself from the current category. Maybe there should be something called “Good Money” and it can only be used in the context of giving, not accumulating, hoarding and spending. Instead of today’s money which creates a terrible divide between people, maybe Good Money can be used as a bridge to connect us. My guess is that Good Money could buy you happiness, love and a whole lot more.

What are your thoughts on how to change money’s brand image?

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Who knew donuts and coffee could be the center of a raging controversy? Many locals and visitors are up in arms at having a DD in Wellfleet. They equate the chain with evil. They worry about the impact it will have on other local businesses. Many see DD as a “gateway drug” that will lead to an invasion of even bigger chains. I totally understand and respect their perspective, but I have a different one.

I don’t see DD as evil. I also don’t see chain stores as black and white. There is a lot of grey. The first Dunkin Donuts was opened as a Mom & Pop shop in Quincy, Massachusetts in 1950. It has since grown into a successful brand that is loved around the world. DD serves 2.7 million customers a day. Clearly they are doing something right and are valued by many people. Their customers are mostly blue collar workers. I think they offer a great cup of coffee at a fair price and have consistent quality. Unlike many local coffee shops, Dunkin Donuts offers its employees full medical and dental benefits, something many lower Cape residents desperately need. The employees at the Wellfleet shop are welcoming locals who appear happy to be employed by the chain.

I think Dunkin Donuts did a nice job maintaining the brand while integrating into the quaintness of the town. The best thing they did was upgrade a fugly, deserted building that had been an eye sore in the town since the A&P supermarket closed back in the seventies (I think). They put in a bunch of landscaped islands filled with ornamental grass throughout the parking lot that made the vastness of the empty lot more visually appealing. They also added visual enhancements to a building that for too long looked like an out of place, abandoned strip mall.

Although I now get my coffee at DD, I still buy local 99% of the time when I am in Wellfleet. I buy my produce at Hatches produce stand and get my fish next door at Hatch’s Fish Market (yes, they spell the names differently). I only eat at local restaurants when on the Cape. My three oldest kids work in restaurants, so I tip generously because I understand restaurant staff live and die by their tips. Every other commerce transaction I have in Wellfleet is with a local business. I honestly don’t believe going to DD is a bad thing and believe you can still support local businesses while occasionally frequenting a chain.

Dunkin Donuts good or evil? My vote is for good! What’s your vote and why?

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During this time of reflection, it dawned on me that Memorial Day as a brand has lost some of its true meaning. To many Americans, Memorial Day signifies the start of the summer rather than a day to pay homage to our fallen soldiers. Often times, the mention of Memorial Day invokes thoughts of BBQs, beaches and a day off from work. Many American companies leverage the Memorial Day holiday as an opportunity to have a sale. From car manufacturers to mattress sellers, we have all been on the receiving end of “blowout prices” to celebrate Memorial Day. I don’t think any American or any company has deliberately pushed fallen soldiers to the background, but unfortunately, I think the day, from a brand perspective, has evolved into something far different than what was originally intended.

So here’s the question — who owns the Memorial Day brand to ensure the brand association to the fallen soldier is not lost? The American people? American companies? The US government? I think in the end, we all do. I believe it is our responsibility to ensure that remembering fallen soldiers is the primary association to this important day. How do we make that happen? I don’t have all the answers but here are some thought starters. As Americans, I think it is important that on Memorial Day, we take the time to do at least one thing to honor fallen soldiers. It doesn’t have to be a trip to the cemetery — although that is certainly a great option. It can be as simple as a donation to the Massachusetts Soldiers Legacy Fund, a college fundraiser for kids of fallen soldiers. Honestly, what if 1,000 people donated a dollar? It would be a wonderful way to positively impact the lives of children who have lost a mom or dad in the line of duty.

I also think American Companies have a big responsibility and should realign their Memorial Day promotions so there is some benefit to the fallen soldiers’ families. There are thousands of causes that do just that. Car manufacturers could make a donation to one of these causes for every car sold during its Memorial Day sales event. I’m sure ad agencies would love the opportunity to come up with fantastic, unprecedented ideas to ensure that fallen soldiers are front and center in any Memorial Day promotion. Let me be clear, I don’t think companies should leverage fallen soldiers to drive sales. I am only suggesting they stop leveraging Memorial Day for pure self promotion and bring it back to the holiday’s true intent.

Finally, I gotta give props to the media for its Herculean effort in reminding us all of the true meaning of Memorial Day. Across the board, I think media outlets do a superb job in illuminating the day through real-world stories about our military. I find the tributes incredibly moving and find it impossible to get through them without shedding many, many tears. So in spite of all the pig piling that goes on when it comes to the media in general, I think we all need to acknowledge their unwavering commitment to ensuring the memory of fallen soldiers takes priority overs BBQs and beach outings.

What else can we do to realign the Memorial Day brand?

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I am a firm believer that “all things happen for a reason.” Even when it initially appears that I am on the receiving end of something negative, I know that “this moment is as it should be” even if the reason is not clear at that time. I am also a firm believer that working to resolve a perceived issue is a far better and much healthier approach to life’s challenges than slinging mud and spewing vile hatred. Well, lucky me. Thanks to something that hit the blogosphere last night, I have another opportunity to live by those beliefs.

First, let me give you a little background info. PR agencies are hired by clients to do many things, but most importantly, they are hired to secure positive, free coverage across all media — TV, print, radio, internet, social and blogosphere. The operative word here is “free.” PR agencies pitch stories in hopes that it will be of interest to the media outlet’s target audience while gaining exposure for its client. When done successfully, everyone wins in this model — the media outlet, the client, and the PR agency. The media outlet wins because when done correctly, they have delivered an outstanding story that is original and tightly aligned with the interests of its readership/viewership. The client wins because the exposure helps drive awareness and association to their brand while leveraging the positive credibility associated with a reputable media outlet. And the PR agency wins because they successfully secured a positive hit on behalf of its client.

Over the last few years a fantastic sector has emerged within the blogosphere called Mommy Bloggers. If you ever wanted to scream the words “You go girl!” then the Mommy Bloggers are a good place to find a worthy recipient of your enthusiastic props and accolades. As the mom of four children, I get why moms love Mommy Bloggers — when it comes to things for my family, I trust the insight from another mom more than anyone else on the planet. Moms kind of have a herd mentality in that when we find something we love, we want to share it with other moms, so they can benefit too. Because of the unmatched reach of the internet, the Mommy Bloggers have been able to provide exceptional value and insight to an audience that goes far beyond their local community of friends. The Kel & Partners team feels so fortunate to work with these amazing women since the vast majority of our employees are moms themselves and because we have the utmost respect for how hard Mommy Bloggers work as both a mom and as a blogger. It would be impossible to mention all the Mommy Bloggers we love because there are thousands of them, but good examples include Allison at PetitElefant, Louise at Mom Start, Deb at Just a Mom’s Take on Things, Gem at Sage & Savvy, Angie at 5 Vinez Monkeys and all the talented women at Cafe Mom and SheKnows.

Over the last year or so, however, there has been a Mommy Elephant in the room and it is causing a lot of pain for some Mommy Bloggers and PR agencies alike. As I mentioned previously, the job of a PR agency has always been to find free media opps. PR agencies have worked in a free media model since the beginning of time. The media outlets we work with have always monetized their business through selling advertising, not selling editorial. Recently, there has been a backlash from some Mommy Bloggers about wanting to be paid for covering a client’s product/service. The challenge is that there is no way for a PR agency to know if this is the perspective of a particular Mommy Blogger since it honestly isn’t the intent of all Mommy Bloggers. So what sometimes happens is a PR person unknowingly pitches a Mommy Blogger who wants to be paid for her coverage and unfortunately, the PR person ends up irritating her because the pitch doesn’t involve any monetary compensation.

I am using this post as an invitation to Mommy Bloggers and PR agencies to collaboratively figure out a way to resolve this issue. I float the following question — How can we best identify a Mommy Blogger who prefers monetary compensation for the content she produces? I think I am speaking for all PR agencies when I say that we totally respect if a Mommy Blogger wants to be paid for the content she produces. And, it is because of that respect that I think we need to come up with a proactive solution that will make it easy for us to identify this subset of Mommy Bloggers so that we can remove them from our pitch list. Trust me when I tell you the last thing we want to do is pitch anyone who does not want to be on the receiving end of a pitch. I am all ears when it comes to coming up with a better way to segment the Mommy Blogger community. One thought would be to come up with a badge or something that a Mommy Blogger could put on her blog that lets the PR agency know she would not like to be pitched unless there is monetary compensation involved. Perhaps the badge could be called “Test House” or something similar that would help everyone align their business objectives and needs. I am not wed to anything and I am open to all ideas. Let’s solve this issue together and as a result positively impact the lives of the Mommy Bloggers and PR agencies.

Now, let me address the situation that acted as a catalyst for this post. Diana is a Mommy Blogger who writes a blog called <blog name removed>. The good news is Diana did a great job naming her blog to represent her personality and the rage that clearly lives inside her. Jen, a much-loved Kel & Partners employee, pitched Diana on behalf of one of our clients. Jen is so kind-hearted that we often describe her by saying, “When Jen wakes up in the morning and opens the windows the birds start to sing and butterflies land on her shoulders.” I am not kidding when I tell you she has a heart that is filled with goodness. Back to the story — Jen sent a Mommy pitch on behalf of a client to Diana. Jen’s pitch not only included a $10 coupon — something most Mommy Bloggers love — but also offered a $20 gift card as a “giveaway.” Since Diana has a tab on her site called “Giveaways” Jen thought this would be of interest to her. Jen closed her email by saying “Let me know if you’re interested, and we’d love to work with you!” Little did Jen know that Diana was what can only be described as a lunatic. In response to Jen’s pitch, Diana went on a hatred-filled rant. It’s too long, narcissistic and delusional to repeat, but feel free to read it by clicking <link removed>. A more mature, respectful way to handle the situation would have been to simply reply to Jen’s email and ask to be removed from the pitch list. We totally respect if any blogger does not want to be pitched and appreciate a simple email like Katie at MarriageConfessions sent that kindly said “Please remove me from your mailing list. Thank you.” So simple.

Instead of sending a one line email to Jen, Diana chose to bully and anyone who reads my blog knows that I hate bullies. Her post is cyber bullying in high gear. She not only threatens to blog about this but goes on with the intent to not only intimidate Jen, but all PR people. I raised my children under the guiding principal of “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Clearly Diana has never heard of this approach when addressing something that is bothering her.

It makes me smile when I think about the respect and appreciation we receive from media people at the best media outlets on the planet — Today Show, HuffingtonPost, Lucky Magazine, etc. I think Diana would benefit from taking a page out of their respect playbook and applying it to her own. Like most PR people, at Kel & Partners, our employees are wonderful human beings dealing with real life challenges. Two are Moms of autistic children, one had a baby diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer at 6 months of age, one was just told her mother has two months to live, one is successfully tackling a weight loss issue that put her in the category of morbidly obese, one has a son exhibiting symptoms of Tourettes syndrome, one is dealing with biopsies on a regular basis, and the list goes on. These people — and anyone for that matter — don’t deserve to be on the receiving end of a vile diatribe like the one Diana unleashed on Jen.

To all the Mommy Bloggers who don’t want to be pitched unless there is monetary compensation, please know that PR agencies love and respect you. The last thing we would want to do is be an irritant in your world. Most of us are champions of the underdog, a starting point for all bloggers, particularly the Mommies. We believe in the long-tail and at the end of the day, we believe the smaller bloggers are the heart and soul of today’s internet. The Mommy Bloggers represent a big part of that long tail. I would love to hear your thoughts on ways that we as a PR industry can better ensure we are only pitching the Mommy Bloggers who want to be pitched. Any short-term or long-term ideas are welcome.

To Jen and the rest of the kind-hearted PR peeps in our industry, I would appreciate any thoughts from you on how to make a positive change relative to the Mommy Elephant in the room. If we all work together, I know we can come up with a great solution to bring more happiness to the Mommy Bloggers and to our daily lives.

To Diana, rest assured you have been removed from our pitch list. I hope you try therapy. Kindness and compassion make for a happier life for everyone.

What are your thoughts on how to find a solution to the Mommy Elephant?

Please note: I welcome all comments and perspectives as long as they are delivered under an umbrella of respect. All disrespectful comments will be deleted. None of us need that negativity in our world.

To say the Catholic brand image has taken a beating is like saying Tiger Woods had a fleeting moment of indiscretion. Catholicism gives new meaning — both figuratively and literally — to the term “fall from grace.”

A brand is a brand is a brand. Whether we wear it, drive it, hit a ball with it or kneel before it, the brands we associate ourselves with says a lot about who we are and what we value. I have watched a tsunami of my friends leave the Catholic church lately. I have also watched many friends struggle with their decision to remain a Catholic even as they recite a laundry list of the Church’s views that they disagree with. That short-list is usually pretty consistent: response to the sexual abuse scandal, treatment of gays, marginalization of women, stance on abortion, opposition to the use of contraception and the required vow of celibacy. The magnitude of that short-list makes it jaw-dropping that the Catholic Church still exists. It’s like saying, “Yeah, I’m a member of the KKK, but I really like blacks.” I find it difficult to see how the two can be separated with any credibility.

It takes tremendous courage to speak out or act in disagreement with something as powerful as the Catholic Church. I applaud the East Longmeadow priest who called for the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI. Reverend James Scahill stated, “Any who deny the truth deny Christ, and we, as people, must reclaim our church. Those in authority must be willing to admit to the truth, admit their horrific crime of cover-up, and beg for forgiveness, and until that happens, there will be no healing.’’ Amen to that! The Vatican knowingly allowed hundreds of thousands — possibly millions — of children to be molested over 100+ years in virtually every country and deliberately chose to protect its pedophiles. Let’s net it out — children were raped. The Church knew it and did nothing about it. I am not sure how people can reconcile the rape of children. What if it were the rape of their children? Would it be different? I hope not. A child is a child is a child. They are innocent and defenseless at the hands of a sexual predator and we, as adults, need to protect them and be their voice when they need to be heard.

I have heard people argue that Muslims are in the same boat as Catholics because their religion is being tarnished because of a handful of terrorist. I don’t see it that way. In the case of Muslims, a few extremists are causing the bad image. With the Catholic Church it is the Vatican — the leaders of the Church — who are responsible for the laundry list of rationalization points cited above. These knuckleheads actually went as far as to blame child abuse on homosexuality. Excuse me? Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, who also serves as the Vatican’s Secretary of State, said, “Many psychologists, many psychiatrists have demonstrated that there is no relationship between celibacy and pedophilia but many others have demonstrated, I was told recently, that there is a relationship between homosexuality and pedophilia.” Way to go Cardinal….when in doubt, blame the gays.

What is the Catholic brand to do? I’m with Rev Scahill — be accountable, ask for forgiveness and evolve the religion to make it more relevant in today’s world. Gays are not evil. They are creatures of God. Celibacy is absurd. It goes against nature. Women should be treated as equals. Contraception is a reasonable form of birth control. Abortion is a personal choice; put it in the context of rape or incest and it should be viewed as a viable option. And, pedophilia is wrong. The world changes and thinking needs to change with it. There was a day when slavery was considered OK. Thankfully, people stood up against it and perceptions evolved. There has been absolutely no evolution of thinking in the Vatican and it is long overdue.

The essence of goodness that was the foundation of Catholicism is what keeps many of my friends with the Church. They believe and have faith in that essence. The Vatican owes it to them to evolve the Catholic brand. To give them a religion that is 100% reflective of their values and does not need to be communicated with an asterisk of disclaimers. A recent Pew Report cites that most Americans have changed religious affiliation at least once and that within this dramatic religious churn, Roman Catholicism is the biggest loser. The study also finds that four times as many Catholics are leaving the faith as are joining it. The Catholic brand evolution needs to start immediately. If it doesn’t, twenty years from now crossing paths with a Catholic will be as rare as crossing paths with someone who is wearing Vidal Sassoon jeans and a Members Only jacket.

Many brands have successfully evolved and even risen from the ashes. When Martha Stewart finally took responsibility for her issues, the brand began to recover. Tylenol hit a wall with the cyanide poisoning scandal, but the brand quickly recovered based on the immediate actions implemented by Johnson & Johnson. Hell, I think Tiger Woods will rise again — no pun intended. The common denominator in all these cases is accountability. It is rare that accountability is usually not followed by forgiveness at some point. Judging by my friends who remain devout Catholics, the religion still has worshipers who are exceptional human beings but who remain conflicted by the hand the Vatican has dealt them. The Church needs do the right thing and make Catholicism a source of pride again.

What do you think of the Catholic brand image?

In 2006 this story would have been interesting, but certainly would not have raised a lot of eyebrows. Oh, did I forget to mention, Lee was driving a 1996 Toyota Camry? A meaningless point in 2006, but a game-changing point in 2010. Lee has maintained his innocence throughout his ordeal. He was recently quoted from prison as saying, “I am so sad. To the victims’ family and everybody else, this was not something I intended to happen. I tried to avoid this situation to the best of my abilities.” At the trial, relatives of the victim begged the judge to give Lee the maximum sentence. In light of today’s Toyota debacle, these same relatives now support Lee and are working with a lawyer to help get him exonerated.

While I respect the way Toyota has handled its recall crisis since the story broke, I am disheartened at the thought of how long they knew about the issues and did nothing. Toyota executives testified before Congress last week and disclosed that the sudden acceleration problems were more extensive than they originally thought. They also apologized for underestimating the issue. Smells like an admission of guilt to me.

I think Toyota has an opportunity to go where no brand has ever gone before when responding to a product safety issue. Recall is the minimum ante and everyone does it, usually because of public pressure and liability issues. I passionately believe Toyota should take its army of resources — legal, financial, public relations, whatever — and ignite a proactive, all out assault to get Kuoa Fong Lee out of prison as soon as humanly possible. This time Toyota should accelerate and not put its foot on the brake until Lee is free. I’m sure legal experts will say that this would be an admission of guilt and put the company in a position of being financially liable to Lee. And I’m sure they’re right, but who gives a shit. They admitted (before Congress) that they knew about the problem and did nothing. There is a man behind bars because of Toyota’s actions. There is a wife at home without a husband and a toddler without a Dad. Never mind the three people who were killed as a result of this accident. This is about doing the right thing and doing it immediately. This is not about minimizing a company’s financial exposure. If Toyota is sincere about making amends with its customers, I can’t think of another Toyota owner — out of the millions of people who own a Toyota — whose name should be at the top of the list.

What do you think?

If you believe Kuoa Fong Lee deserves to be free, I ask that you tweet about this story and/or use whatever other social media platform you choose to help bring awareness to Lee’s situation.

Let me be clear, I do not blame the whale for the death. It is unfathomable to me that these amazing creatures — who were meant to swim the vast oceans of the world — are being held in captivity in tiny tanks. What creature with a beating heart and brain would not go crazy in that type of environment? The cruelty is unimaginable.

There can only be one motivation behind SeaWorld’s decision to resume the killer whale shows and that is money. After four days they have managed to compartmentalize the death and can now only see green. What else could be behind the decision? It’s not like there are throngs of children protesters sitting in strollers outside SeaWorld holding signs that say “Bring Back The Whale Show.” The decision was based on pure greed. SeaWorld appears to rationalize this decision by saying no trainers will be in the water with the whales. Oh that’s a good plan. That makes everything better. It’s kinda like charging tickets to see Charles Manson but promising he won’t be within striking distance of any human beings. SeaWorld’s delusional plans are further amplified by citing in-water interactions between whales and trainers will resume after a “completed review and new policies” are made. Ummm….do you think you might want to review the findings before you state that you’ll be tossing the whale version of human popcorn back in the water. Dudes, unlike the cigarette industry who denied for decades that cigarettes caused cancer because there was no concrete evidence, this death was witnessed by many people. These whales kill. Who in their right mind would make a statement that essentially says “yeah, we’ll take a look at things but no matter what we find we promise to put human beings in the same risky situation in the future.”

What are your thoughts on SeaWorld’s decision?

Back on August 9, 2008, I wrote a blog post entitled “Edwards Wins Gold For Mea Culpa.” The net/net of the post was about giving props to John Edwards for having the balls to not only admit his affair, but to explain why it happened. As I cited, previous political mea culpa’s have ranged from “I apologize…but I did nothing wrong,” as illustrated by Idaho Senator Larry Craig, to “I am deeply sorry I didn’t live up to what was expected of me,” as stated by former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, to the cowardly telephone admission of “…the fact is the honest answer is yes” by Newt Gingrich when asked about an affair. The one common denominator to every one of these political affair-related mea culpas is that none of these men had the decency, courage and/or awareness to take the next step and explain why it happened. Since Edwards did take that step, I felt he was deserving of a gold medal for his mea culpa.

Today, I am stripping him of his gold medal. When Edwards was interviewed by ABC News’ Bob Woodruff on August 8, 2008 he admitted having an affair with Rielle Hunter but denied being the father of her child. Really!?! Really John!?! Really!?! Dude, WTF were you thinking? Today, you joined the ranks of the cowards. You released a written statement (lame) that you are the baby’s father. Really!?! You had the opportunity 17+ months ago to air everything and put this scandal behind you and your family. But no, instead you pull a Tiger and deny, deny, deny. Really!?! Did you really think this wasn’t going to come out? Really!?! Had you not seen photos of little Quinn who is the spitting image of you in a bonnet? Really!?! Did you not think about your terminally ill wife and the implications of putting her through another scandal 17 months later? Really!?! Did you think putting your buddy Harrison Hickman on the Today Show this morning to take the bullet for you was the right thing to do? Really!?!

Why is it so hard for people to do the right thing and come clean in one fell swoop? We have all witnessed countless politicians, sports icons and celebrities fall victim to flaming a scandal by not disarming the media through full disclosure. Why do people think they will be the one exception and somehow manage to keep other dirty little secrets under the rug? It’s not like we haven’t seen this movie before. We know how it ends.

What do you REALLY think of John Edwards at this point?

I mean honestly, where the eff is Tiger? For someone known for his unwavering focus and ability to come from behind (no pun intended) to win a title, he has totally missed out on an opportunity to deal with this crisis head on.

Say what you want about Mark Sanford’s ramblings about finding his soul mate or John Edwards’ unthinkable act of cheating on his terminally ill wife. At least when their cats came out of the bag, they took a “suck it up” pill and fell on their sword for the entire world to see. Aside from a carefully worded post on his website using confusing words like “transgressions,” Tiger has yet to come out of the woods.

If Tiger had a PR firm worth the millions I am sure they are being paid, why aren’t they telling him to do the following?

1. Hold a press conference and take full responsibility for his actions.
2. Disclose that there were X number of other women who he had affairs with who have not been identified. He needs to uncover everything so there is nothing left to keep the story alive.
3. Announce that he is going into rehab for sex addiction. Addiction is the only way to explain his reckless behavior. No human being in their right mind — particularly a high profile celebrity — would think that he or she could get away with such an ongoing and visible laundry list of affairs unless there was some sort of addiction. By the way, I think Vegas now needs a new tagline because clearly “What goes on in Vegas does not stay in Vegas.”
4. Apologize to his family. Acknowledge that no woman on the planet deserves to be treated the way he has treated his wife Elin. He is a donkey and if the universe truly had its way with him, he will never get laid again.

There is no way he can stuff this genie back in the bottle so he needs to address it immediately. This will not just blow (no pun intended here either) over. The longer he waits, the more his reputation will deteriorate to the point of no recovery. At this point John Daly looks like a saint compared to Tiger. The public is capable of forgiveness when someone takes responsibility for his or her actions. Think Martha Stewart. However, when someone denies, or even worse, sticks his or her head in the sand, the public will keep the controversy alive and continue to ridicule. Think the Catholic Church.

Tiger needs to put this nightmare to bed as quickly as he can for himself, his family and his fans. If he ever wants to be a winning golfer again, he needs to take the spotlight off him ASAP. I don’t care how talented you are or how laser-like your focus is, having a bunch of drunken golf fans screaming at you on the course will ruin anybody’s game. I get almost giddy thinking about the one-liners:

• “Hope you get it in the hole big guy!”
• “Pull out your big wood!”
• “You can use your wedge on me any day stud muffin!”
• “18 holes are better than one!”
• “Can I borrow your cell phone, I need to text a stripper?”
• “I hear you play well in the rough!”
• “Drive those balls like you did in Vegas!”
• “Just do it…with your wife!”

Do you think Tiger will ever be able to salvage his reputation?

I have to wonder if anyone else sees the lack of originality in the ads. The ads are void of any fresh content and the candidates’ messaging showing the perfect family with the perfect upbringing makes me want to gag. It always goes something like this:

• Dad was a <insert blue collar job here>
• Mom was a stay at home mother
• Went to an Ivy league school
• Video of Norman Rockwell Christmas with children dancing around the tree surrounded by “perfect” relatives
• Childhood photo of little boys in ties and girls in dresses and white gloves standing in front of church

The fact of the matter is that there is no such thing as the perfect family. When I was a kid I used to think everyone else had the perfect family. As an adult, these friends have now shared their own stories about how screwed up their family was. One story that stands out is from a former teammate. I thought her family had it all — huge house, lots of money, country club membership, uber-athletic kids and more. A few years ago, my friend told me her family life was absolute hell. Her parents would get bombed every night and it wasn’t unusual for her mother to chase her father around the house with a knife trying to kill him. Fo’ shizz.

If the reality is that most American voters didn’t grow up with the perfect family, why don’t the candidates reveal their own imperfections? These ads would truly stand out. The messaging wouldn’t be overused and reheated and I believe people would respect their honesty and connect with them in a way they can’t today. Even better, what if they proactively disclosed everything that would be viewed as a “skeleton in their closet.” Now, there’s an ad that will keep voters from changing the channel!

Although I will never run for public office because the personal agendas would make me crazy, if I did, the content of my ad would be something like this:

• My parents were divorced. (50% of marriages end in divorce, so I’m thinkin’ this will resonate with voters)
• My Mom was a single working Mom long before it was commonplace.
• My Dad was an alcoholic and his alcoholism created a very chaotic home life. Note: He has been recovered for 25 years and I am so proud of him and love him immensely. (Over 9 million Americans are alcoholics and I bet 100+ million people who love them are affected by their drinking. This is yet another transparent opp to connect with voters.)
• I was sexually abused as a child by a really effed up uncle. (Statistics on sexual abuse vary, but a conservative numbers estimates 25% of children have been sexually abused. It is horrific and we should have a “one strike you’re out – life in prison” law.)
• I went to shitty state college. (There are only eight Ivy league schools and the overwhelming majority of Americans did not attend them.)
• Because I was a tomboy, any photos of me would probably show me in Sears Toughskin jeans holding a fishing pole….while climbing a tree ’cause my Mom was trying to drag me to church.

I have no skeletons in my closet because I never try to hide anything about me. The following things are often used by candidates to discredit a political rival, so I am and will always be upfront about them:

• I am gay and I am married — because in Massachusetts we believe in providing basic human rights to all our citizens. I know this attribute would make me unelectable in many parts of the country, but I would never try to hide who I am.
• In college I did a lot of drugs — I think the only things I didn’t do were crack and heroin and that’s because they really weren’t around.

While I wouldn’t wish my childhood on anyone, I wouldn’t change it and I am who I am because of it. I am resilient, compassionate and honest. I am the person you want by your side in the middle of a crisis. Why? Because I grew up in chaos, I am calm and level headed in the midst of it. I am always the defender of the underdog and will go toe-to-toe with any bully — without exception. Hell, I am not perfect and am far from it, but neither is the American voter.

I’m Kel Kelly and I approved this message.

Who would you rather vote for? Someone who is upfront and honest or someone who tries to spin the perfect background?

I was driving into work this morning listening to Howard’s show. Last week, they had an intern named Pete join Howard in the studio for a conversation. Pete has Tourette syndrome. Turns out Pete is a great guy. His self-effacing, authentic personality was endearing and clearly Howard enjoyed his interaction with Pete. Anyhoot, this morning they had Pete sing Purple Rain via karaoke. When I tell you Pete gave a jaw-dropping rendition of Purple Rain, I am not embellishing a thing. He was phenomenal. I was grinning ear-to-ear while driving. Suddenly it dawned on me that Howard really is a misunderstood brand. I thought about how Pete’s life would never be the same again because of the opportunities Howard has given him over the past few days. Lucky for Pete, Howard is also consumed with the fact that Pete has only had sex once in his life. Howard is now obsessed with getting him laid. Haha!

When those who do not really know Howard describe him, they are likely to use the following words: smutty, disgusting, sex-driven, and controversial. Interestingly enough, all of those words are pretty damn accurate. However, those who know Howard through listening regularly would also add the following words to the list: monogamous, honest, compassionate, and respectful. Therein lies the disconnect when it comes to Howard’s brand.

Let’s break it down:

Monogamous: Is Howard sex driven? Absoeffinglutely. The guy is obsessed with sex. Even better, he is gifted at getting celebrities to talk about their sexual escapades and his listeners love hearing about it. Howard must be doing something right. In addition to being the most fined radio personality in the U.S., Howard is the highest-paid. He even makes more money than the racist, homophobic Rush Limbaugh who has a cult-like following. The point that gets lost by those who don’t know Howard and really don’t care to get to know him is that he is in a monogamous relationship with his wife Beth Ostrovsky. If you listen to his show, you would know Beth is the center of Howard’s universe. He often talks about how he would never cheat on Beth because it would put the thing he values most in life at risk. Perhaps Letterman should have followed Howard’s lead on this one.

Honest: Howard Stern is the most honest man in the world. How is that for a statement? Why do I say this? Because what other man do you know who would go on a radio show with millions of listeners day after day and talk about his small penis. Ummmm….I’m thinking zero. Howard is a tell-it-like-it-is kinda guy. He never pretends to be anything he is not, even if that means putting himself in a position of vulnerability. My guess is there is nothing more vulnerable to any man on the planet than being viewed as having a small penis.

Compassionate & Respectful: One of the secret sauce recipes for success for Howard was when he discovered early in his career that people are intrigued by lesbians. Having lesbians on the show was a big catalyst that propelled Howard to his current position of “King of All Media.” Many think Howard exploits lesbians and makes fun of them. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Eleven years ago, gay University of Wyoming student Matthew Shepard was found barely alive and tied to a fence. Beaten, robbed and left to die by two local roofers around his age, Shepard was discovered by a bike rider and taken to a hospital. He later died. In a recent interview, Matthew’s Mom Judy said Howard Stern’s pro-gay marriage stance and overall attitude towards gays is “brilliant.” Judy says “I thank Howard for his comments …I think it’s wonderful.” I can’t think of a person who would have more of a right to identify a gay-hating monger than Judy Shepard. Her endorsement of Howard’s true intentions screams volumes about his character.

What can we as marketers learn from Howard being a misunderstood brand? Stay true to who you are. Seriously, no matter how hard you as a brand may try, some people just aren’t going to see you for who you are and aren’t going to give you a chance. That’s OK. Eff ‘em. If you’ve done your homework correctly and you are truly meeting a need — as Howard clearly is — you will have more brand advocates than you will know what to do with. Never compromise the integrity of your brand by kowtowing to a small number of people who you may offend. Be true to yourself. Take a risk. Howard sure in the heck did and in his case it turned into a $500,000,000 contract.

What are your thoughts on Howard?

So what does Boston Sports Club (BSC) say to me based on my brand experience? It says “Free Pool Hair!” and unfortunately that overshadows everything else about the brand.

I joined the Westborough Boston Sports Club last winter when I started training for a triathlon. The facility was brand spankin’ new and quite simply, stunning. It was huge, well lit and featured all new equipment. The pool was phenomenal with a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows that ran the full length of the pool. Ed, the man who signed me up, was a great personification of the brand. He was super attentive, physically fit, and genuinely engaged in hearing about my fitness goals. I walked away thinking the company had done a fantastic job in creating a brand experience that would prompt me to be a “repeater” and tell all my friends. After all, positive word of mouth marketing is nirvana for any brand in any segment in any country. However, it can be a double-edged sword. Negative word of mouth communication can stop a brand dead in its tracks.

So what happened? Unfortunately, it was a deja-vus experience because it had happened to me once before and involved the same person. Last night I went for a swim. It was late, so nobody else was in the pool when I started — quiet, peaceful and meditative. About twenty minutes into the swim, I could see someone entered the lane next to me. No big deal, it’s better than having to share a lane and playing bumper car swim with that person. I continued doing laps and noticed the woman kept stopping after she swam one length of the pool. Then the epiphany hit me like a knife in a low budget horror movie — it was her — Hair Woman! This woman has long, thick, dark, unruly, black hair. Her routine was to swim a length, take her hair out of the elastic band, dunk it in the water, squeeze the water out with her hand, put the elastic back in, swim a pool length and repeat. I swear on my four kids’ lives that I am not making this shit up. I lasted about 3 more minutes and after seeing floating hair through my goggles I felt too ill to continue. I got out of the pool and went to talk to one of the pool attendants. I was calm and respectfully explained the situation knowing full well she wasn’t in the conference room at corporate headquarters when BSC decide to offer all you can eat, free pool hair. The pool attendant said, “That is disgusting. I agree with you. Unfortunately, the corporate policy doesn’t require bathing caps.” I told her that I appreciated that she was not responsible for making policies and promised to try to leverage Web 2.0 to try to get this resolved.

I began a spew of tweets on the subject:

boston sports club: allowing peeps w/ long hair swim w/out bathing cap is disgusting. change ur policy. if not, i’ll put video on youtube.

boston sports club: woman pulls long hair out of elastic after every swim lap, runs fingers thru it & puts back in. youtube video will rock!

boston sports club: a pool filled w/ long hair is terrific. it’s effing awesome to have someone elses hair in mouth when swimming.

boston sports club: since u don’t require bathing caps, why require bathing suits? no suits will help promote more floating hair. wtf peeps?

boston sports club: suggest ur ceo write blog post on all the compelling reasons why u don’t enforce swim cap policy. is floating hair #1?

Now one of the things I love about the world is that almost always, there are two perspectives on virtually every subject on the planet: sports teams, healthcare, politics, religion…you name it…but not when it comes to floating hair. Aside from those acid-tripping hippies in the musical Hair, I think the perspective around the world is that other people’s hair in your pool or food is not a desirable experience. I received a tsunami of responses on twitter and Facebook on my BSC hair tweets. Without exception, everyone thought it was nasty. Not one person said, “Really? I love pool hair. It takes me by surprise and tickles my skin as it floats over my body. And I find it tasty. I will actually play a game and try to catch as many floating hairs in my mouth as possible. My personal best is seven in one lap!”

Now, if you go to the BSC website, the About Us section has messages about:

• a multitude of option
• wide range of group exercises
• fully equipped
• innovative programs

…all that is effing great, but you know what I think of when I think of Boston Sports Club — pool hair! You know what most people who read my tweets, Facebook status and blog will think — pool hair! Even if their brand experience to date has been positive, they will always have “pool hair” as one of their many references.

The good news is that BSC has a simple fix: institute a bathing cap policy. It won’t take a long time, it’s not expensive, and customer satisfaction will go up.

The moral of this story is that that companies need to own the brand right through every aspect of the brand experience. Even overlooking one, little part of the brand experience can derail and overshadow every other branding initiative.

What are your thoughts?