Comments on: The Mommy Elephant In The Room

By: Blog Marketing Info

Blog Marketing Info — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 14:05:55 +0000

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By: DIY Marketing PR Strategies for Social Media and Reputation Management Marketing Advice for Small Business Owners and CEOs Marketing Advice for CEOs - DIYMarketers

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 12:33:44 +0000

[...] about Cleveland and when I went to her blog I saw that the highest commented article was called The Mommy Elephant in the Room. You know I had to read that [...]

By: Marketing Agencies for Beginners

Marketing Agencies for Beginners — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 13:01:55 +0000

[...] In this very traditional scenario, the agency gets paid by the client, but there’s no budget for them to spend, other than on the labor of their employees. The PR agency just plain doesn’t get access to any money, because they are supposed to be getting free, or “earned” media coverage. “The operative word here is ‘free,’” explains PR blogger Kel Kelly of Kel & Partners, in a recent blog post called The Mommy Elephant in the Room. [...]

By: San Diego Momma

San Diego Momma — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 04:43:07 +0000

Also late to the conversation, but wanted to say: Let’s try to remember there are people behind the PR pitches AND people behind the blogs. My gripe? It’s all become so very impersonal. Many PR pitches (in my experience) are unfocused and ill-targeted to the blogger and sent blanket-fashion. What gets my attention is when the PR agency works to establish a personal relationship.

I want to connect with the thing I’m promoting, the person I’m promoting it for, and the PR agency who asked me to do it.

In a nutshell (NOT), I wrote in a post last year (“Sex and PR”) about my criteria for accepting PR pitches. Paraphrased?

(1) Will my family like it? (2) Will my readers like it (if there’s a giveaway); and (3) Can I write about (or NOT write about) the product/trip, etc. in my own way, without feeling beholden to give a positive, stupid, senseless, biased review that serves no one but the company?

So that’s my take.

P.S. I greatly dislike the term, “mommyblogger.”

P.P.S. There’s a lot of “gimme gimme” happening on BOTH sides of the fence, and that entitlement is off-putting.

By: Steph

Steph — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 06:11:10 +0000

I’m late to this conversation. Probably because I don’t focus on reviews or PR interaction. I do, however, get frequent pitches. Some are fantastic. Most are not. Many excellent suggestions have been offered in this thread to help improve PR/blogger interactions. I don’t have much to offer there. I would, however, like to attempt to clear up some misperceptions about the blogging world. Two in particular that I saw in the comments stand out.
1. Why we blog. Most bloggers do not need content. To continue to provide “content” is not our reason for existence. That displays a fundemental misunderstanding of the blogging world and I hope it’s something every PR person on this thread can explain more fully to your clients.
I’m sure there are blogs out there that exist solely to provide content, get clicks and collect advertising dollars. But I’m guessing those aren’t the blogs your clients want to reach. We write about our lives and we enjoy doing it. We write for a sense of community, for support and for friendship. We do not write to provide “content.” We write to share our lives and even if every PR agency in America stopped pitching tomorrow, we would continue to share our lives online. For the vast majority of us, PR, advertising, giveaways and free products are nice, but they aren’t the *reason* we write. I’m almost hearing a tone of “you should be thankful for these content ideas” and that’s just completely off the mark. It may explain some of the recent disconnect between bloggers & PR.
I can’t speak for other bloggers because I no longer do many reviews. But every now and then I’ll get a pitch that is so spot on, that I reply. Even if it’s not a review I can do, I will reply and tell the “Jennifer” behind the email how awesome the pitch was. Sometimes I’ll pass it on to the dozens of bloggers I email with evey day behind the scenes and say “Look at this pitch. This person/company/brand has been paying attention.” Or, I’ll introduce “Jennifer” to 5 of my blogging friends. Of course, the product or service also comes into play but the pitch is the way you’ll get me. However, let me be clear – I never “need” or even “want” for content. I don’t write for you or even my readers. I write for me.
2. “Mommy bloggers”. Let me explain why many of us don’t like the term. Yes, I said “many” of us. Yes, I am a mom. But I’m also a lawyer, a wife, a daughter, a volunteer, an advocate for the causes I hold dear. I write bout my children, yes. They’re a huge part of my life. But I also write about the law, photography, my marriage, politics, infertility, the war and it’s effect on my military family, death and my long painful struggle with depression. To have all of that summed up as a “mommy blog” is a kick in the gut to many women who now struggle to get the world to see them as so much more than just mothers. I understand that we’re a target market, a demographic, but individually we are all so much more. All of us like to be seen as individuals. In fact, many of us began blogging so that we could find our unique voices. Please don’t dismiss that struggle with a “why wouldn’t you love this term?” if you’re not under 4 feet tall and banging on the door while I’m trying to pee, please don’t call me “mommy.”
I apologize for egregious typos. I just wrote this tome on my iPhone and I hope some of it is helpful and legible.

By: Roundtable Roundup « Media Bullseye – A New Media and Communications Magazine

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 19:30:01 +0000

[...] mom-blogger topic has been heating up lately, and there’s a lot to think about for communications and PR pros. Some moms want to be [...]

By: Ava

Ava — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 13:22:41 +0000

It seems to me that what started as an controversial attempt at starting a real conversation has quickly devolved into complete and total cyberbullying. What Jessica Gottlieb is trying to do is 100x worse than anything Kel or the original mommy blogger did!!

Kel, take heart – it seems with a quick YouTube search that you’re not the only one that has been on the receiving end of one of her tirades: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQEJvbVBnD0

Drunk dials and attacks on other people’s family members? How does she think she has a leg to stand on?

By: Christie

Christie — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 13:16:38 +0000

What started as a post to discuss a situation that needed to be addressed has turned into a battle. No one deserves to be cyber bullied and ALL Kel’s post was supposed to do was to start the ball rolling down a path to positive change. At this point does it really matter who is wrong and who is right? By pointing fingers nothing is accomplished. PR is important and Mommy Bloggers are equally important – at the end of the day isn’t that what really matters??

By: Katelin

Katelin — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 03:49:43 +0000

Kel, while I agree in the main with your response, I fail to see the logic behind “as far as my tone, i become a bully when dealing with a bully”. It seems foolish for you to try to justify your bad behaviour with this “but she did it first” response.

By: Meg

Meg — Thu, 27 May 2010 22:58:47 +0000

As blogger and as a marketing person, I see a different side of the coin. The problem is not in that “Mommy Bloggers” want to get paid, the problem is that the wrong terminology is being used.

PR (public relations) is not the same as promotion, which is not the same as advertising. When you say that PR people are all about finding free outlets, that’s where the confusion comes in. Free is promotion. PR is handling the reputation of your brand. Advertising is paid placement of a message.

I’m not saying this to be condescending in any way, but simply to say that the problem lies in women (and men) being pitched by companies and one or both parties are misusing/misunderstanding these words.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Thu, 27 May 2010 22:44:13 +0000

Hello all!

Quite the conversation going on over here! As always, I’m a little late to the party.

What I am hearing you say, Kel, is that you (the PR side) are responsible for getting these press releases out to the public via as many free avenues as possible.

I am picturing an article in a newspaper or magazine or a 30 second clip in a news show. Assuming this is a correct interpretation, I will proceed –

This free press release would be a part of a *larger* package – less than 1% of the content that publisher/newscast/whatever would be sharing with their audience on that particular day.

In a group blog with multiple posts per day, (or in the case of 704, per month) this would be a similar comparison.

However, if I were to post the same kind of information on my personal blog (http://kaisermommy.com), because of the template, that post would be at the top of the page, getting front page attention until I posted again (which could be a while *ahem*) This post would also go out into the inboxes of my email subscribers and into the feed readers of those subscribers.

That’s a whole different ballgame – more like one of those 30 minute infomercials that comes on while I’m trapped on the elliptical at the gym – and I’m assuming someone had to pay for that big block of time aka viewers attention.

When I watch television, I expect commercials. When I read a magazine, I expect shiny ads – even the ones designed to look like articles, but with the words “advertisement” written in a small font somewhere in a margin. Newspapers, Movie previews – all of that, I expect to be marketed to.

If I bought a book and the first chapter was all about how the heroine just loved (insert brand name chocolate here) because it filled out her curves so Lance the overly muscled dude would notice her – I’d be a little suspicious about just what the point of the book was.

So, that’s at least why press release requests hit the file 13 of my inbox.

Thanks for readin’!

By: kai

kai — Wed, 26 May 2010 00:02:19 +0000

Nt 2c: when you delete comments without explaining why or posting rules of engagement, it doesn’t look good. like there’s something to hide.

By: Kel

Kel — Tue, 25 May 2010 20:15:24 +0000

hello all! coming up for air following my son’s graduation from high school yesterday. a proud mommy moment.

anyhoot, this will be my final comment on this post. i think i have said everything that i wanted to say — there is no flavor left in the gum. clients, partners, employees, mommy bloggers and fellow pr peeps have chimed in on the subject. and yes, i have been moderating the comments based on tone and content. as such, i have removed comments that offer nothing but negative energy. i will continue to do that, so don’t waste your time posting if you don’t have anything positive to contribute to the discussion. i am disappointed that there were fewer ideas than finger pointing, but at least the dialogue has started. i continue to challenge everyone to post a suggestion to resolve the mommy elephant situation. we have already begun executing a number of things here. at the end of the day, we respect a mommy blogger’s desire to be paid for her content. unfortunately, our clients consider that advertising/sponsorship and they don’t have budget allocated for it. this includes a billion dollar business. to all the mommy bloggers looking to monetize their content by getting paid for writing — you go girls! i hope that dream is realized sooner rather than later. peace out peeps.

By: Candice

Candice — Tue, 25 May 2010 19:47:50 +0000

Ah, no, I apologize. There must have been something funky with my computer, because I refreshed several times. I’m sorry for jumping the gun and believing my comment was removed.

By: Candice

Candice — Tue, 25 May 2010 19:47:03 +0000

You are deleting comments now? Both mine and the one below me. How unprofessional yet again… To be honest, that makes me more upset than anything – I find I can’t trust your firm at all – now there is nothing to be redeemed…

Kel, I keep seeing you repeat the phrase, “When I’m bullied, I become a bully.” This is something I heard a lot in middle school, but I would expect adults – and professionals – to behave better. You cannot speak about respecting others and pretend like you are as you trash someone’s reputation over something so silly, and I am not impressed that when someone bothers you, you turn around and do the same thing back. I can guarantee I will not be hiring such unprofessional PR for my company. That IS something that is important to me as a small business owner – because YOU would represent me to everyone you encounter. Yours is not an image I would want to portray.

That aside, and speaking as a small business owner that caters to mommies, as well as someone with a history of employment and schooling in communications within the media, you cannot expect that all “mommy bloggers” will place a badge on their site to accommodate the industry.

Unfortunately, the PR firms have two choices: either continue as is, and perhaps make a clear statement in their communications that there is no monetary compensation but that this is an opportunity to work together, or do what so many other industries have had to do in recent years – adapt to the new environment.

By: kai

kai — Tue, 25 May 2010 19:31:08 +0000

Curious where Jessica Gottlieb’s comments went?

By: Candice

Candice — Tue, 25 May 2010 19:30:40 +0000

By: Jo

Jo — Tue, 25 May 2010 19:01:50 +0000

Er, I work in PR and it seems that although Jen’s pitch was very sweet it seemed a little condescending. And Diana’s response was far from “vile.”

By: Christine

Christine — Tue, 25 May 2010 18:59:04 +0000

Kel,
First let me say, I truly understand both sides of this situation, it is frustrating for PR firms to not know the “rules” of each mommy blogger, as it is frustrating to be inundated with emails from PR firms as a mommy blogger. That said however, I have to say I’m very disappointed in this blog, in this scenario YOU are the professional, and while I understand your need to handle the situation, the tone in which you handled it was completely inappropriate. I’ve read your comments about being a bully with a bully and I respectfully disagree that this is a good way to handle it. If you had written a professional, well thought out blog about the struggles of the PR firm without bashing Diana I would have totally been on your side, as it stands I’m disgusted by both of you.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 25 May 2010 17:18:48 +0000

well, all I read was “BLAHBLAHBLAH I’m right, you’re wrong!” From both ends =)

Guess what? No one’s right. Someone is always going to disagree with your choices.

I’m just hoping that you’re not looking for approval for the way you feel and the way you acted. Because simply, it was out of line on both ends.

Move on.

Note to self: If you’re ever offered giveaways, Don’t post about the ones you don’t want, or you’ll be torn a new one!

By: Dennis

Dennis — Tue, 25 May 2010 16:13:17 +0000

Kel thanks for taking the lead on defining and elevating the issue of compensating bloggers. The FTC has chimed in and has made an example of several blogs and even couple of companies in the past year on this exact issue. As a Kel & Partners client and founder of a small business, the blogosphere has been invaluable in allowing consumers to learn about our products. Bloggers (specifically mommy bloggers) have supported companies which make and sell value-added products that enhance consumers’ lives. They have put our products to the test in their homes and have given honest feedback (where we have succeeded and where we need to improve our products) without being compensated. Their blog posts have been read by many consumers who, like me, search the internet looking for honest and personal experiences with products and services. Without the blogosphere, consumers would be relying on companies and their marketing department for product information.

Personally aware of balancing a busy life with many priorities, I do understand the bloggers’ dilemma of “to be compensated or not to be compensated” for product reviews and posts. And I am sure over time this issue will be sorted out and a common and equitable foundation will be established.

But to me, the issue is directly related to the high demand for product and service content by the public, due to deteriorating customer service in our society. Without open and honest dialogue, bloggers and PR firms will fail to provide consumers with an alternative channel, a place for consumers to seek and learn about great new products and services. I do not have all the answers, but I am clear that bloggers, PR firms and start-up companies have the ability to stimulate and revitalize customer service for all of us as it relates to product and service feedback and performance. As the internet has evolved in the past 20 years so must the blogosphere, to continue to shape and mold for all involved to succeed in the future. May the force be with all in the blogosphere!

By: Deb Rox

Deb Rox — Mon, 24 May 2010 23:47:02 +0000

The answer to PR reps’ problems with mommybloggers is so easy it drives me crazy that I see pros making the same mistakes time and time again. I come from both perspectives. I blog, and I work in PR and marketing and as a liaison between bloggers, brands and PR reps. The disconnect is that there are many types of bloggers. Not all are akin to newspaper or magazines, and most DO NOT NEED stories, traffic or giveaway items from PR. That fact undoes the holy trinity of “everybody’s happy” with “free” stories. The game has changed. However, old style pitching is still useful as some bloggers are indeed publishers akin to newspapers and magazines and are interested in those PR-driven stories or giveaway items. They already by and large identify themselves as PR Friendly either by badge or by text, so I don’t think a new badge is needed, and you can also tell by their content and the way they engage with the blogosphere and their readers. You can tell by building a relationship. So mistakes are usually made by not researching that blogger first, and by not taking time to build a relationship second. If you are at all in doubt, your employees should absolutely query with a brief email–not a pitch for the client, but a request to see if they are interested in general in the type of pitches you send. Just as simple as the unsubscribe email you mention. Your employee is the paid pro in this exchange. Did she first research that blogger and then chat with her before pulling your client into the exchange that obviously might not be welcome? Doing less is the type of bad communication that bloggers rightfully are offended by, as it breaks major etiquette, and companies should be offended by, if they knew, because they look bad. If PR companies are confused by the mommyblogger scene, they can also hire insiders or liaisons to help them understand and cultivate relationships.

By: Joanne

Joanne — Mon, 24 May 2010 22:17:32 +0000

Well, this certainly has drawn a great deal of attention.
I’m in PR, I pitch to “media lists” that my company constantly updates. Whether it is a junior account person, or the occassional intern that creates or refreshes the list, mistakes will happen. Bloggers, sometimes it’s unclear who your audiences is. As far as not always mentioning your names, sometimes the only way to pitch your site is thru “submissions.” I’m sure blogger ARE bombarded daily with pitches – and so are the editors of all the major publications we pitch to (Family Circle, Woman’s Day, Ladies Home Journal, Oprah, etc). These editors work for powerhouse publications – and I’ve never received one single, nasty email response from one of them. I’m sure at one point I may have inadvertently pitched them something that wasn’t a fit, but the editors would either delete, or send a quick email back “not interested” – that’s all it would take. They are professional about it.
I’ve, unfortunately, been on the receiving end of some rude email responses from Mommy Blogger – one, point blank, told me to “F#$@ Off”, and quite a few have given me the old “I’m gonna share this with other mommy bloggers.” And there have been a handful of others.
Come on ladies. There is absolutely no reason to be so harsh. Some one wrote about “raise your hand if you’ve never made a mistake” – what a valid point.
If you go way back to Kel’s original post, she was looking for solutions.

PR solution:
*Do your homework and make sure that the blogger is a fit for your clients business/service.

Blogger Solution:
*Hit delete
*Email back “unsubcribe”

A little respect can make all the difference.

There are far more important things going on in the world that need our time and energy.

By: Maggie

Maggie — Mon, 24 May 2010 21:25:07 +0000

As an in-house PR rep at a small local company that follows Kel’s blog, I sincerely wish I had time to spend reading and getting to know every blogger and reporter that I pitch, but the reality of the situation is that I just don’t have the time or resources as the company’s sole PR rep.

I often rely on HARO for pitching our business. For those not familiar, it’s a service that both reporters and PRs subscribe to for free, where reporters can request specific products, expert advice, etc. that they are in need of for a specific story. Although some bloggers utilize this service, by and large it is professional journalists.

Perhaps there should be similar repository for mommy bloggers where they can share their interests and specific needs for their blog with PRs (or request not to be contacted!) This would result in much more targeted pitching on behalf of the PRs, and perhaps save a few headaches here.

Just offering my two cents to come up with a solution as the drama seems a bit counterproductive.

By: Mary

Mary — Mon, 24 May 2010 21:19:45 +0000

I’m totally shocked by the hypocrisy of some of the posts I’ve been reading on this topic. I am a PR professional who, quite frankly, is sick and tired of being asked for “free stuff” by mommy bloggers that don’t understand what PR is and why its inappropriate to ask for free stuff in exchange for a blog post. You can’t expect to be treated like legitimate citizen journalists if you act like you’re only out to get something for free. I think the bigger question to all mommy bloggers out there is…IF THE CONTENT SENT TO YOU IN A PR PITCH IS RELEVANT TO YOUR AUDIENCE, WHY WOULDN’T YOU WANT TO SHARE IT WITH THEM? Isn’t one of the main reasons for blogging to share information? I personally don’t get what all the fuss is about. Kudos to Kel for defending one of her employees who was simply trying to a good job on behalf of the clients that pay them to do so.

By: Lizzy

Lizzy — Mon, 24 May 2010 21:07:22 +0000

Marcia, I was wondering when someone would point out those FTC blogger deadlines!

In case anyone would like to read them, here’s the link:
http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2009/10/endortest.shtm

I find it hard to believe that were all the bloggers who are paid for posts/reviews to disclose their material connections to the products, that they would be able to maintain the same level of readership. I for one am not interested in reading a review that isn’t as objective as possible. Think about reviews on sites like Amazon.com–they are made by consumers who PAID to obtain a product and then felt the desire to offer their opinions on it, in a public forum. I’m inclined to say I am more likely to purchase something after reading reviews of that type rather than a paid endorsement from a blogger (mommy or otherwise).

By: Marcia

Marcia — Mon, 24 May 2010 20:49:23 +0000

I read the whole thing. Kel’s first, then the retort by Diana via Kel’s link. I am a big mommy blog reader and mommy internet group participant. I read awhile back that a law was passed that mommy bloggers could *not* receive compensation of any kind without explicitly stating this on their site. Because that would make it a direct advertisement.

By: Patty

Patty — Mon, 24 May 2010 20:41:49 +0000

As a mom myself, I respect Mommy Bloggers and what they do. I understand their perspective. I am a loyal reader of some mommy blogs because I trust their advice and experiences. I do however, side with the PR firm on this particular issue. There is a difference between PR and advertising. PR is editorial content – it’s free. Advertising is pay for play. Both are important – but blogging is strictly editorial. I hope that by Kel highlighting the differences, we can begin to understand them better.

By: Tristan

Tristan — Mon, 24 May 2010 20:41:26 +0000

My mom always said to “fight fire with fire” – seems to me that’s what Kel did here.

And to clear up some confusion: Advertising = content created BY the advertiser (company x) that they pay to have placed somewhere. The more people that see it, the more it costs.

Editorial = content created ABOUT company X by a neutral third party(reporter/blogger) that company X did not pay for and has no control over.

Just because something mentions a company does not make it an ad.

By: Tracy

Tracy — Mon, 24 May 2010 20:39:38 +0000

I’ve been reading through all of these comments and have read mostly rants by other bloggers instead of real solutions to what is clearly a problem that needs to be addressed. Let’s bring the conversation back to offering positive solutions on how everyone can work together. Turning this into a pig-pile isn’t going to help any of us.