As a proud Facebook pimp (who is one recruit short of winning a toaster oven), I am often on the receiving end of a lot of questions and/or Facebook faux pas by enthusiastic newbie members. Having made similar violations of accepted, although unwritten, Facebook social rules when I first became a member back in the day, I offer the following advice:

Don’t Write On Your Own Wall: Recently, my 82-year-old aunt sent me a message on Facebook and she was irate that I had told her she shouldn’t write on her own wall, but there was a link under her wall that said “write on your wall.” I patiently explained to her that, “you can write on your own wall and you can walk around naked but I’m not sure you want to do either.” Writing on your own wall is like starting a conversation with yourself. You should write on other people’s walls as a means of communicating. Always remember that unlike Facebook messages which are private, wall posts are public for all to see.

Don’t Poke Someone: The only people who poke are people who just joined Facebook. I remember when I first signed up for Facebook, I immediately poked my three teenagers who didn’t know I had even joined. Later that day, their paths crossed in between classes at school to which they all shared their horror that, “Mom just poked me on Facebook!” While poking is not cool, feel free to add the app SuperPoke! where you can throw a sheep at a friend. Very cool.  

Post An Icon Photo: The quickest way to scream to the world that you are new to Facebook or not someone who uses it much is to not post an icon photo which then means it defaults to a blue question mark. I am constantly amazed at how many people don’t want to post a picture of themselves. If Freud were alive and living in the world of Facebook, I’m sure he would declare that these people all needed therapy due to deep rooted identity issues.

Don’t Use Your Kid’s Photo As Icon Photo:  Again, I’m sure Freud would have a field day with this. While your kids are cute, there is a place for their pictures in your album section on your Facebook profile page. When someone writes something sassy on my wall and there is a photo of a three month old baby next to the post it creeps me out. Enough said.

Don’t Be An App Pimp: If you find a fun application and you think someone else would enjoy it, by all means send it to them. However, you need to really personalize your thinking behind this versus sending it to everyone you know. As an example, anyone who knows me knows I am not really someone who would add the app Send Cupcakes. You also need to know your friend’s Facebook style. I tend to be a minimalist and have a profile page that leans more towards feng shui than “appapalooza.” 

Don’t Friend Poach: Finding someone you know by sourcing them via another person’s friend list is a quick and efficient way to find other friends on Facebook. Going to someone’s friend list and friending everyone on their friend list, most of whom you don’t know, is not cool and referred to as friend poaching. While everyone enjoys watching their number of friends go up, friend poaching is not the way to get there.

Don’t Use Facebook To Spy On Your Kids: I have quite a few friends who use Facebook to spy on their kids and keep tabs on what they’re doing. Bad, bad idea. If your kids have allowed you into their world via Facebook, you need to respect that it is their world and let them live it. This means keeping your mouth shut if you see something that you would find offensive but is really harmless in the big picture. Don’t tell them you don’t like the language their friends use in wall postings and don’t grill them on how they know someone on their friend list from another town. My three teenage kids are all on my Facebook friend list and they have all given me full access — in other words I can see everything on their profiles. I love getting a friends perspective of their world, but I know my bounds. If you can learn to zip it if you see a bunch of them in a photo holding big red keg cups it will be a better experience all around for everyone. If you find yourself ready to pounce I remind you to remember what we all did as teenagers and I think you will find they are angels compared to us. Remember, Facebook was their world long before it became ours.

What Facebook faux pas are you guilty of or have you been on the receiving end of?